


Into the Night

by JustJim, Useless_girl



Series: Home Is Where the Spark Is [7]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Aged up characters, Alpha Derek, Angst, Bottom Stiles, Dark, Derek is Derek, Detective Stiles, Drama, Druid lore, Emissary in Training Stiles, Epic Romance, Fluff, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Knotting, Love, M/M, Magic, Magic Stiles, Mysteries, PTSD, R (explicit), Sarcasm, Slash, Soulmates, Spark Stiles, Stiles is Stiles, Supernatural - Freeform, Switch Stiles, Top Derek, Training, Werewolf Lore, Werewolves, Wit, argument, canon and non-canon elements, emissary bond, emissary stiles, hangover Derek, m/m - Freeform, mate bond, matured Stiles, post-Teen Wolf, sterek, switch derek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:09:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 32,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23842039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustJim/pseuds/JustJim, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Useless_girl/pseuds/Useless_girl
Summary: The Mates finally have a serious discussion about Derek’s upcoming rut, which puts some tension into their relationship because of their opposing opinions.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Series: Home Is Where the Spark Is [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1607563
Comments: 5
Kudos: 45





	1. 7: Into the Night - Part 1

**Note:** This is the seventh part of the “[Home Is Where the Spark Is](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1607563)” series. To understand better what’s going on, we recommend reading the previous entries. Enjoy!

 **Fandoms:** Teen Wolf, Sterek

 **Characters/relationships:** Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale, Alan Deaton

 **Rating/category:** R (explicit), supernatural, post-Teen Wolf, canon and non-canon elements, slash, M/M, Sterek, hurt/comfort, dark, angst, PTSD, aged up characters, Spark Stiles, Magic Stiles, Emissary Stiles, Emissary in training Stiles, detective Stiles, matured Stiles, Alpha Derek, switch Derek, switch Stiles, drama, epic romance, love, magic, fluff, soulmates, Mate bond, Emissary bond, werewolves, humor, wit, sarcasm, Derek is Derek, Stiles is Stiles, werewolf lore, druid lore, mysteries, training, hangover Derek, knotting, top Derek, bottom Stiles, argument

 **Summary:** The Mates finally have a serious discussion about Derek’s upcoming rut, which puts some tension into their relationship because of their opposing opinions.

 **Disclaimer:** This is a product of our imagination and was written only for entertainment and fun. We don’t profit from this fanfiction and we mean no harm or disrespect against any real person, culture or custom that might appear in the story. All original pictures and fictional characters used in the story belong to their respective owners and credit goes to them.

* * *

[ _Just Jim edit_ ](https://jimtremor.tumblr.com/post/183173815156/facebook-covers)

**Home Is Where the Spark Is  
** _By Just Jim & Useless-girl_

**7: Into the Night – Part 1**

This was the second time he was waking up after a high of magic, and it hadn’t gotten easier. If anything, the larger dose made the hangover a reality. Probably also because there were no curtains in the loft, so the light of the day streamed in at full blast, making him squint his eyes when he had blinked them open. A groan left his too dry mouth and he rolled onto his side to grab for his pillow, placing it on his face to block the light out. His head was throbbing without mercy and it felt and tasted like something fuzzy had died in his mouth and decomposed there for days. It had an aftertaste of sperm, old sperm, in fact the whole bed smelled of it, including his own body. Smacking his mouth, he wanted to get up to eat a whole tube of toothpaste, but he was probably better off waiting for a bit to let his body recover from the magic whammy.  
  
Memories of last night were hazy, but he knew they had sex, lots of sex, endless amounts of sex? It felt like they had decided on a marathon but that was probably because of the intensity the magic had caused. Images of Stiles riding him floated by, sinfully moving hips, a thick erection in his face. Yeah, definitely a sex marathon. His body didn’t feel like it was covered in flaky dried cum though, when he moved it experimentally, despite reeking of it. There’s no memory of a shower or any kind of cleaning, in fact, he didn’t even remember how it ended. Oh god, with some feeling of mortification, he wondered if he had fallen asleep on Stiles halfway through. It was a very possible scenario. Alpha wolf falling asleep, yeah, that wasn’t something to be proud of and he’d have some serious making up to do.  
  
Slowly he felt around for the body next to him, the beating heart letting him know Stiles was right there with him. The sheets _were_ covered in dried proof of their nightly activities so they were going to need to be cleaned, if he could feel the spots with his digits. The breathing of the human wasn’t deep enough for him to be asleep, he might even have watched Derek’s attempts at waking up with amusement but he wasn’t going to move the pillow to check. Instead he groaned some more.  
  
“Did I eat rats?”  
  
It would explain the taste. Ugh, his eyelids were a little crusty and he remembered feeling like he’d drown in the facial he had been getting. The wolf was fine with pain, he was used to pain but this? This was an annoying kind of weird sickness and he wasn’t used to intense hangovers unless waking up poisoned counted. This wasn’t pain, this was a nagging annoyance which his body normally would have dealt with but apparently magic overkill had some longer lasting effects. The rune itched, a bright hot kind of feeling as a reminder that he was doing this to help Stiles. It was for a good cause but right now, there was nothing good about this morning besides his mate in bed beside him.  
  
“How are you feeling?” the older man croaked out from under the pillow, curling up on his side without moving more.

"What if I said you did? You probably wouldn't remember anyway..." Stiles chuckled softly, running a hand up on Derek's arm and down to his side, rubbing it in a comforting manner. He remembered the first time Derek was hangover on his magic. This one seemed to be worse. The balance was still tipped towards the wolf. He had time to watch him sleep, the magic visible in the sunlight around his sleeping mate. It was slowly swirling and floating lazily, aimlessly there. But apparently it was making the usually grumpy Hale even grumpier. For the umpteenth time Stiles was wondering what was wrong with him, because he found it very cute.  
  
With a sigh he took mercy on the wolf and rubbed his thumb against the warm side. "Nah, you just ate my ass and cum," he provided while adjusting the pillow under his head, the hand on Derek's side never stopping with the touching and caresses. "I'm perfectly fine. A little bit sore and delightfully bruised here and there. Also very happy about these," he chuckled. The young emissary was a bit tired too, but more from the physical exertion than the magic. "My skin doesn't feel too tight for the magic either," he smiled at the pillow, even if Derek didn't see it. "But you're obviously in a... not so stellar shape. It's worse than last time, right?" he asked, feeling a pang of guilt for a moment, his hand pausing on the warm skin. "I'm sorry. I'll set the balance right in a few minutes. Last night I had to give you a bigger dose to give my own body time to adjust to the expansion in me," he explained.  
  
"How much do you remember?" Stiles asked, the hand moving again. He wondered about that ever since Stiles woke up a bit more than half an hour ago. He had the time to shamelessly feast his eyes on the gorgeous man he could call his mate and whom he loved. He was most curious if Derek would remember fainting on him during his climax. That was a bomb he was going to drop on him wisely, though...  
  
"How about coffee? Do you have any food around? If not, we'll have to do with energy bars and chocolate for now..." Stiles mused and rolled out of the bed, his body protesting against the cooler air with goose bumps, but he wasn't going to dress before a shower. So he marched towards the kitchen area butt naked, the bruises on his thighs in sharp contrast with his pale skin.

Derek just ate his ass and cum, sure, that explained the horrible morning breath happening if there hadn't been some teeth brushing or mouth water gurgling before falling asleep. His tongue felt weirdly swollen as he ran it along his fuzzy teeth, longing for a sip of water to feel less like he had swallowed a desert. With hair. The hand on his side offered comfort, but didn't ease much of his grumpiness because he wasn't a morning person to begin with.  
  
"It's fine, it needed to be done." It was part of the greater good, because they both had to get used to it and they both had gotten high on the increase last night. And where there was a high, there would also be a low. This time he was the one mostly feeling it when last time it had been Stiles. It was a balance of the sort, and one they both had agreed to so he didn't want apologies from his mate. Even when he felt like his entire mouth had died and was rotting from wolfsbane poison. "I don't remember much, bits and pieces, but it felt great." Obviously it had been great or the scent of sex wouldn't be that heavy in the air and Stiles wouldn't have been sure and bruised, nor happy about it.  
  
Derek didn't move from the safety of his pillow at first, it kept it nicely shaded away from the light. But at some point he decided he had to brave the day so with his eyes closed, he stuffed the pillow under his head, hearing the human putter about. "There should be some protein bars." Breakfast of the champions, and his usual food choice in the morning if there hadn't been time to eat much of the breakfast he'd cook. Right now though, the thought of food made his stomach do this uncomfortable roll so he'd be happy with coffee for now. It would also make him be in a more agreeable mood because who even started their day without coffee and didn't bite heads off? Even Beth knew that daddy was a grumpy-pants when he didn't have that first cup of coffee to slowly wake up with.  
  
He tried to peek at Stiles but the bright lights made him rethink it. They were going to move the bedroom to a room attached to this one anyways, currently hidden behind another rusty metal slide door behind the couch because it was not much of a room. They were going to have to add curtains there, for those times they didn't like morning light. Like right now.

Stiles was pretty amused by the "suffering" of his mate while he took matters in his hands and began making coffee. "It _was_ great. More than great, actually..." he grinned under his nose as he was searching the cupboards for the energy bars. "Aha!" he exclaimed triumphant and put everything on a tray then just waited for the coffee to drip down.  
  
"We'll need some curtains too..." he murmured more to himself, leaning against the counter as he faced the bed and the grumpy naked wolf on it. At least he wasn't pissed at Stiles for sporting a magical hangover. Not that they could avoid it as it was beyond them, part of the process. But Stiles was determined to help on his lover with coffee and transferring some magic back into him.  
  
"No curtains here," Derek continued his grumping because the large loft window was what he loved about the place and besides, there were no curtains for a sky light. "Bed won't stay here." Of course he could hear Stiles clearly with the way he was muttering in the empty kitchen area. There wasn't exactly a door, only a hole in the wall which he had secured with wooden beams to keep the industrial look. The old elevator that had been there he had gotten rid of already since it hadn't been functional and there was a door in the wall there leading to the balcony. He had installed the door himself years ago. The kitchen was functional but the room wasn't finished, but the kitchen work space was large and plenty of room for a big table. The wiring there had been replaced at least but there was so much work to make it kid friendly. It made him twitchy just thinking about all the work they had to get done before they could move and he groaned, not wanting to open his eyes and actually _see_ all the work.  
  
Stiles’ own thoughts were interrupted by the coffee machine, the wonderful scent of the dark liquid filling his nose. Pouring a big mug for Derek, he added sugar and milk powder to his own before playing waiter and taking the tray to the bed.

"Coffee and breakfast in bed. You can live, Mr. Hale..." he smirked and put the tray between them, taking a sip from his own mug with some obscene pleasure noises, because yes, coffee is life!  
  
When the scent of coffee hit Derek’s nose, he rolled away from the windows to blink his eyes open, head protesting because yeah, movement and light at the same time. He was still busy deciding if he should make a run for the toilet when Stiles came over with a tray of coffee and some bars so the coffee won out over the toilet. Eyes squeezed to slits to minimize exposure to anything, he reached for the mug, blowing into it before he sipped from the much needed brew. "I feel like I half-died, you live."  
  
"You know... fucking an alpha into unconsciousness must be some special superpower. Certainly a personal record and achievement for me," Stiles grinned over his mug, curious if that revelation would finally make Derek wake up somewhat.

Derek was propped up on his elbow to drink, a frown on his face because of the throbbing in his head, content to sip coffee and pretend the day hadn't started yet. However his mate was far too gleeful to let him, happily informing him of something which made him pause mid-sip. No lie detected, just a very smug human grinning over the rim of his mug so the Hale decided on narrowing his eyes even more.  
  
"Your magic must have knocked me out," the wolf decided because there was no way he'd pass out from very good sex, right? Was that even a thing that happened outside movies? However it would explain the fact he had no memory of them finishing it.

Stiles raised a brow at that suggestion, looking mildly offended. "Seriously? You think I can't make you faint from the sheer joy this ass can give you?" he asked and to emphasize his point, he slapped his own pale and very naked butt. "I hear a challenge there..." he mumbled, huffing and puffing, but there was no real heat behind it.  
  
Because yes, there was magic involved but earlier at the clinic. It was more about Derek dealing with the after effects, like being high. During the actual sex part Stiles was more or less in control of his magic. So yes, it was the non-magical magic of his tight ass that did the trick – no matter what Derek would say about it. It was a question of pride for Stiles at that point and it reflected in his brown eyes.  
  
"Don't take this away from me," Stiles grumbled, nearly pouting before he took another sip and put the mug down to reach for a protein bar.  
  
In answer to Stiles' statement, the wolf raised two eyebrows because no, he didn't believe in a magical ass unless the entire human counted. It had been a combination of the high of magic, the physical exhaustion and bodily exertion and the pleasure, which all could be linked to Stiles in a way. He was going to be impossibly smug though if Derek would let him have this so he decided not to protest to it anymore but also not to agree either, eagerly taking the topic change he could feel coming to get out of it. Needless to say, Stiles knew Derek enough to see what he was doing with ignoring the answer to his request, but he rolled with it. It was something he will take pride in no matter what.  
  
"Where do you want to put the bed?" Stiles asked, munching on the energy bar. It was better than nothing and contained everything his body would need for energy. Each time he ate such energy bars, he felt a little bit like he was an astronaut in space or part of a sci-fi movie, eating future food.

"Room behind the couch." Derek had nearly nodded towards it but no, that wouldn't be smart so he only glanced sideways to the rusted metal side door behind the one single couch the loft had. "Beth can sleep upstairs, having a room here will be easier." For one it would mean she wouldn't hear them as much since her room would be above them a little but there was concrete in-between and they could put her in the room on the other side which was more above the kitchen and corridor outside the loft. Besides, with how often he got injured, the circular stairs would only be in the way. They could install a TV against the wall by which the bed now was if he made an extra wall to hide the needed pipes there. For heating he was going to get some people here because all the apartments were going to need an upgrade, most already had heaters. Except for the loft.  
  
"Good thinking about the bedroom. Very practical. The placement of Beth's room too. It would give us some privacy even with her wolf hearing," Stiles echoed Derek's thought with his own without knowing it. He would probably freak a bit if he knew just how many times he was spot on with that thanks to being so much in tune with his mate already and because of his strong intuitions as an emissary.

"You know... I can't wait to start working on this place. I have so many ideas. Some I've already shared over the blue prints, but I have new ones since then. And right now I'm so itching to start cleaning all the dirt out, but I won't because my body would give out as I'm physically tired too, but not my mind. Or mouth as you can hear. And I know you're not a morning person and you'd probably prefer if I shut my mouth right about now, but I'm not sure I can, because whoa, the coffee and the sugar hit hard! This is quality stuff lying around here unused. We should come here more often," he babbled and rather stuffed the other half of the energy bar in his mouth, looking a bit apologetic at the staring wolf.

Stiles was rambling on while he drank his coffee and mused over the work, even though his mate was thinking along the same lines. Derek wasn't that great with cleaning, never saw the need for it with the buildings he had been living in.

"Don't bother, it needs to be cleaned with high pressure to get all the dirt off the stone walls." He had done that in the kitchen area and the upgraded bathroom, even had gone as far as treat the rough stones with a special coating, at least the walls he hadn't tiled. "And they have to replace the wiring in a lot of the rooms which will create a lot of dirt too." Might as well clean it right when all the adjustments had been done.  
  
The coffee was finished but he didn't feel even remotely like himself yet, it might need another full mug. "I only buy the best protein bars, with all the things you need to replace a meal." So it wasn't as sugary but the coffee probably was. It amused him at least, as he watched Stiles 'turn' on like that battery bunny from commercials while he himself was barely even awake. "I have a big bathroom, I installed it two years ago,"

"Hey, I'm not that stupid to start cleaning anything here before all the work is done. It'll be a pain in the ass then too. By the way, we should at some point figure out where to put my emissary workroom. Because I'll need one soon by the looks of all the shit Deaton gave me to read. I'd also want to have my own herb garden perhaps on the balcony or a portion of the roof. You know, for healing potions and wolsfbane antidotes and such. I'll have to dive deep into that part of my magic too to be able to help you and the pack. I have a feeling, we can't be prepared enough and that we'll need that in the future," Stiles mused on a slightly sarcastic tone because yeah, he knew how Beacon Hills operated and how little luck they usually had when it came to supernatural problems.  
  
There was plenty of room in the building for Stiles to have his own apartment for magic but maybe that wouldn't be too safe for the building? Maybe they could ward it to keep it from destroying the building what is going to be their home. The plan was to have a large pack here. Having an emissary with a work space in the building would be perfect. A room for the herbs to store, a room with beds to recover and a work room. It would be ideal, but maybe too dangerous. That was for later worries, for now they had other things to think about, enough to keep the brain active even at night. "Hmm," Derek agreed to the idea though. "We can make an herb garden out back." Or on the roof. There would be plenty of space to grow the various strains of wolfsbane and it was out of reach for hunters there too.  
  
"Also, I didn't expect less from your protein bars and coffee, but it's painfully clear that you are still not better. Come on, I'll make it better," Stiles winked at Derek and quickly finished his coffee, placing the mug down on the tray just to scoot closer to the other man. He wanted to kiss it better too, but for now he held himself back and rather clasped his hand on Derek's forearm in that by then familiar way.  
  
The second the runes touched, they began their usual slight burning and as Stiles' irises started glowing, he saw the magic around them come to life too. He found it a bit easier to do the transfer with each time so maybe Deaton was right and with practice they would be able to do this only by touch with time. For now, though, he had to quietly chant the words that have ingrained themselves in his mind already. His skin started prickling as the connection opened between them, his focus zeroing down on reaching out to gently pull on an invisible amber string to coax some of the magic back into him. It was still a weird feeling, but not unpleasant and his own body seemed to accept it a bit easier too. It was his task to sense and monitor when the balance would be reached. It took some concentration but luckily he had a talent for it from the beginning. (Deaton's words, not his!)  
  
It took a few minutes less than last time and it made him feel a bit proud of himself while he finished the chant and closed the connection. The long fingers brushed along Derek's rune at the end, a small fond smile playing on his lips before he slowly exhaled and focused on pulling all the magic back inside him. "Feeling better? Ready for me to draw a bath for us?"

They had to perform the ritual to get the levels evened out because Derek’s body had enough time to get used to the increase of magic. It would heal the hangover eventually if the magic remained but since this was all about balance and learning, he didn't protest against the offer of taking some of the magic away. The transfer wasn't as overwhelming as the taking of magic, he mostly listened to the monotone chanting while he felt that warmth trickle away. It made him feel less sick, his stomach had stopped its rolling and the headache receded to a dull throb. At least they'd know when the balance was off because one of them would get sick so there was less chance of this being lethal. Derek heaved a relieved sigh as the pressure let up, it had been bothering him more than he had let on, of course. Because complaining about something they had to do seemed pretty useless, especially since he wanted to do this for them both. Derek’s breathing had eased and when the hand released his forearm, he nodded with a soft smile.

Satisfied with the result of the transfer and the fact that Derek was open to making room for his herb garden and work room, Stiles grinned from the smile he got. Of course, it resulted in a coffee tasting small kiss on Derek's lips. This was maybe too idyllic, but he thought they could finally afford having such plans and small gentle moments after the years of chaos and yearning for each other. Maybe... just maybe the Universe would finally tip the balance in their favor. At least for a while.  
  
A bath was needed, badly. Stiles had cleaned them up, Derek had seen the small pile of wet wipes next to the bed but it wouldn't clean everything. "So you already saw the bathroom." Since he knew there was an actual bath there, another thing Derek had wanted because of his tendency to get hurt, showering when recovering from injuries or poison was too exhausting. And now he was glad he had done it because a bath was easier to put a toddler in as well. "There's a jar with white colored oil, it's herbal remedy for aching muscles so you might want to pour some in." The bruises on those pale thighs were spectacular, telling the story of their frantic lovemaking and he could imagine how the human felt. Only imagine, he healed too fast to know the aches of a passionate session of sex.  
  
He glanced at the phone for the time, late morning so they weren't needed at Deaton's for a while, giving them the time to explore the loft fully so Stiles could see where he was going to live and Derek could show the rest of the building and the wilderness of the communal garden in the back.

"Of course I saw the bathroom. I took a leak during the night while you were still K.O.," Stiles chuckled. "It looks really great. Just like the kitchen. I can't wait to see the whole loft transform like that," the younger man said with an enthusiastic expression before stretching his back with a purr. "I feel much better now too. Less sore as well, but you're very considerate about that white oil. Sounds like you talk from experience..." he wiggled his brows, even if he knew his pair mostly meant helping his muscles to heal from injuries, not sex.  
  
Rolling his eyes at the suggestive eyebrow waggle at the mention of the oil, Derek didn't deem it with an answer because the human knew well enough that Derek had experience with the oil when injuries had been less than quick to heal. It wasn't often but it happened.  
  
"Now... eat some energy bars while I play house fairy... _again_..." Stiles started while sliding off the bed once more. He didn't lie, his muscles weren't protesting that much anymore and he felt more energized too. Maybe the both of them getting stronger was going to help on his usually fluctuating energy levels (being hyperactive didn't mean he was energized all the time) and mood swings too. For a brief moment – not for the first time – he wondered how things would be if his mate had a full soul. How that would affect them both and the magic as well? How much magic that would unlock in them? How much stronger they could get? But that was another problem for another day. Now it was bath time! So he waltzed into the bathroom unashamed by his nakedness and the marks on his pale body. It was a good thing that he was going to live with a wolf, because they weren't bothered by lots of nudity either.  
  
Humming a melody to himself, it didn't take long to start the bath and find the white oil in question. He added a nice amount of it to the water then decided to hunt down a spare toothbrush for himself. He found one under the sink and quickly washed away the stale taste of coffee. As he looked into the mirror, he noticed that his irises were still glowing a bit. A feat he'll have to pay more attention to keeping it hidden. Nowadays it wasn't as easy to set him off, but Stiles knew he was going to have to keep himself more in check. Even if his magic might not be visible for human eyes, his color-changing irises might. Just like for wolves.  
  
As Stiles skipped off to the bathroom naked and in a good mood, the Hale watched him go with a shake of the head, eyeing the nutritional bars to gauge his body's reaction to the suggestion of food. It didn't roll with nausea, there were no complaints so he reached for one of them, unwrapping the plastic.  
  
It smelled of almonds and coconut, tasted like them too. The brand had many flavors but he had picked them because they were the best to replace a meal with. He had researched the nutritional facts since he always worked out a lot and werewolves burned through their food fast. Energy bars weren't the tastiest, a few bites and the meal was done so it wasn't very satisfying either, but it was food. As he was chewing, he took the tray of empty mugs to the kitchen, hearing his mate humming in the bathroom while the sound of running water guided the echoing voice.  
  
Stiles’ observing gaze mapped out the familiar scars and the fresher bruises. Like the fading signs of some groping and hickeys here and there. Obviously the most prominent were the finger-shaped bruises on his thighs. He slid a hand on them on one thigh and lightly pressed down on them. The dull throbbing pain made his breath hitch and his heart stutter for a moment as he bit down on his bottom lip, tasting more mint. That's when he suddenly felt Derek's heavy gaze on him from the door, but Stiles moved only his eyes towards him through the mirror, keeping his hand on the bruises. He wasn't going to try to hide what he was doing or how much he loved them. The marks of his mate and alpha.

Since Derek wanted to brush his teeth to get rid of the lingering taste, he strolled to the bathroom as well, feeling much better. The sight of the human standing there, naked, admiring himself in the mirror and antagonizing his bruises made him pause. He was beautiful, lean, aged from the teen he used to know. Fully a man and that was something he wasn't going to stop appreciating. The bruises were dark, clearly showing finger indents where Derek had been gripping the flesh. But since Stiles was admiring them, he didn't feel guilty at all, he knew how it felt to be marked, and although he didn't know how it felt to have the marks last, he completely understood his mate's fascination with them. So he smiled and leaned in to kiss the back of his neck.  
  
First his mouth though. The bath was nearly filled enough for two people to sink into without pouring water everywhere so he took the time to quickly brush his teeth so he could kiss Stiles on the lips.

"Your eyes are still glowing." They might have to buy him some sunglasses to have if that happened because the ember shine to them made them very unnatural. A hunter seeing that would assume the worst and kill Stiles without questions asked.

Stiles smiled under his nose from that kiss on the back of his neck and let out a happy little sigh as he stepped to the side to give more room for Derek at the sink. His hand retreated from the bruises and he leaned a bit closer to the mirror to check his eyes once more then he scrubbed his cheek, feeling the starting stubble.

"I've noticed. I guess it lingers for a while after we do a magic transfer. Or when I get aroused and angry it comes out. Just like with you," he mused. Otherwise he looked... radiant for the lack of a better word. His skin looked healthy and youthful and if he concentrated a bit, he could see a faint glow too. "I'll have to concentrate more in public. I think I saw some passages in the new books how to control and hide magic and its signs of it better. I might have to dive into that soon.”

Turning the water off, Derek was the first to get into the tub, spreading his legs to make room for Stiles to settle in.

“Did you know that emissaries have anchors too? It helps them focus their magic and keep in control," he hummed, watching Derek finish washing his teeth then getting into the tub. And it was a sight to behold.  
  
Everything about this man was a sight to behold for him, frankly. And okay, the pull of the bonds was stronger now too so he would have to work on his control regarding this too. After all, jumping Derek's bones whenever the lust hit would be counterproductive in many situations. And places. He could see the sheriff's pained face in case they were brought in to the station for public indecency...  
  
That thought made him snort to himself, the smirk staying on his face as he moved to climb into the bath too. He loved Derek a little bit more for getting into the position Stiles had in mind for them. The water was nearly too hot for his skin, making him hold his breath for a moment, but he quickly got used to it and then let the relaxing warmth and scent seep into him with a satisfied groan.  
  
Stiles slid back between Derek's open legs and wiggled until he found the perfect position with his back against the broad chest, head resting on a shoulder. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, his whole body relaxing against the alpha on the exhale. "This is so nice... I love it more than I can tell," he confessed, feeling the tension starting to bleed out of his muscles as he stroked Derek's strong thighs under the water.

Having Stiles lean against him in the warm water was exactly what he liked about having a bath because he was more of a showers kind of guy, quick, in and out within five minutes. But with a bath, it would take a whole lot longer and just didn't grab his interest, unless he was sharing it. He nuzzled against the long pale neck, fingers raking through the brown unruly hair and he snorted.

"We need to wash our hair, we have natural gel in it." Their love making clearly had been a messy affair. The wolf had already spotted his own messy and crusty hair. It made for a messy kind of bed head. Especially in Stiles case with his longer hair which usually required a jar of hair product to get it spiky to begin with.  
  
The hot water with the oil should get rid of any lingering aches in the muscles though he had noticed the fluent way the human had sat down in the water without even a twinge of pain. Fingers caressed along the nape of the pale neck to test the pain levels for himself, not wanting the younger man to hide anything since it was his fault there were aches to begin with. But it wasn't a lie, there was barely any pain to siphon away, especially now in the bath.  
  
Derek's hangover had fully disappeared as well, thanks to the ritual and the coffee, probably because of the insistence of food as well. Cupping a hand of water, he gently started on wetting the thick hair, careful to drip it backwards so the oil wouldn't leak into sensitive eyes. "I could get used to this." No lie, to just share a moment like this was even better than he had imagined. Then again, he never had imagined moments like these, they were too intimate and unlike anything he thought he would have, deserved even. But here they were, lounging in a bathroom in their soon to be family loft and he should be freaking out right about now. Instead he sat back and calmly took in the moment.

"Well... I did come all over your face, some ended up in your hair too..." Stiles snorted while enjoying the gentle appreciating touches.

Yeah, Derek could smell that he had been covered in cum but he didn't remember much of the feeling, which was a shame. Stiles was going to have to do it again in the near future so he could get the full experience of having his partner paint his face. With how pleased the other felt, Derek figured he wouldn't mind it all that much to do it again.  
  
Stiles could feel clearly that Derek loved this quite a lot too. He didn't even comment on taking the lingering pain away, because it added to Stiles' comfortable relaxed feeling. It was so different from how his life has been in San Francisco. Constant tension, sleepless nights, getting lost in his work to battle the deep loneliness he's always felt. Except when he was around Derek. Yes, even back then something had sparked between them. He couldn't – didn't dare to – label it as he was too preoccupied with the back and forth arguing and driving each other up the walls while also saving each other countless times. Now... now Stiles could lower his guards and let himself bask in the caring attention of the man he was bonded with for life. Such a huge – but by now a very welcomed – change.  
  
"Me too. Maybe we _can_ get used to it... I mean... don't we deserve some peace of mind and moments like these? We've did enough. Lived through enough to be able to enjoy small things like a bath with your mate, don't you think?" he murmured, a small smile playing on his lips, eyes still closed, as he felt Derek finally start relaxing behind him too. "You're my mate. I want to share moments like these with you, no matter how sappy they might sound. It clearly grounds us both," Stiles explained.  
  
The words were sobering because even though Derek hadn't forgotten it all, it was sometimes easier to focus on the latest trauma instead of all the rest. In the years they had gotten to know one another, the years Stiles had been in high school, they had experienced more horror than they should have. But that was Derek's life, it was part of being werewolf and it hadn't stopped after he had left Beacon Hills.

"We need moments like these to get through the bad ones. I've tried sulking in a corner of run-down buildings while wallowing in my anger and man-pain. It didn't work out so well." At the time, living in the burned out husk of the house had felt like something he had deserved, like something he had to do. Spending his days sorting through the rubble to find memories he could keep maybe but there hadn't been much to salvage. He hadn't been ready to settle into something more permanent, something resembling a house so the train station had been second best. He still had a tendency to soak in his feelings but at least his surroundings were being upgraded.  
  
The human turned enough to be able to look up at Derek, one hand grabbing Derek's bigger one to lead it on his body for some lazy discovering (if the alpha was up to it) or just to hold him. "It feels a little bit surreal, but it's ours and no one can take away peaceful moments like these..." Stiles murmured, kissing into Derek's stubbly neck. "I hope your schedule isn't too crowded for today, because I might move in with you here. In the bathtub naked and relaxed," he confessed.

As Stiles mentioned staying in the tub, Derek huffed in laughter because he knew better. "You'd get very cold and our skin will get wrinkled like a dried prune." His hand traced along the pale chest where it had been placed. "And you'd turn blue with chattering teeth. As much as you claimed to be the abominable snowman, it's not a good look for you."

"I know, amber is my color plus you totally love the golden halo of innocence and beauty surrounding me when my magic is lose..." Stiles giggled very smug and satisfied picturing some of the looks he's been getting from Derek – last night too. "I love the way you look at me, you know. Like I'm something worth to keep alive and kicking..." he half-joked. It might have come off as a joke, but there was a time when Stiles wasn't sure he was worth the saving.

It took him years to get over most of the things he had done to others when he wasn't himself and the Nogitsune was using his body like a puppet on strings. There were things deep inside that he was still working on. Will probably for the rest of his life. Not just because of the trauma, but because of the darkness that was always going to be a part of him thanks to his link to the tainted Nemeton. He wondered if it was going to manifest in some way within his magic or not. It was certainly something he should ask Deaton about... Especially since through Derek his bond to that damned tree became stronger too. He could sometimes feel it in the back of his mind. Like a half-forgotten thought or static. A constant presence which he could close out most of the days, but not fully.  
  
But now... Now he didn't want to think about such dark things. He was a master of procrastination when it suited him. Plus he knew that facing himself to work through issues was never an easy task. Now he just wanted to enjoy his alone time with Derek because a) he has a toddler who can get loud enough to shatter windows and b) once they start building their pack, it was going to get crowded and noisy too. So Stiles knew that they had to fully enjoy and appreciate such quiet and peaceful moments which are going to become amazing memories too.  
  
"Obviously it didn't work for neither of us. Running away from my hometown and friends to learn then live in a foreign city didn't help in my case either. This is my hometown. Here's my childhood home and my new home too..." he said quietly while his wet hand caressed Derek's forearm. But of course he had to crack a joke in such an intimate moment too. After all, he was still Stiles Stilinski... "And hey, I would be at least a sexy dried prune! But fine... fine, we can move in into the bed then. That's where most of the magic happens anyway..."

"Golden halo of innocence," Derek repeated with a dry tone to it because there was nothing innocent about Stiles, not even when he was sleeping. Stiles was the least innocent person Derek knew because the human was highly intelligent, deviously so, and knew just how to get a situation to work for him. That combined with his teasing sense of humor and sarcasm, it was a deathly mix. One of the many things which had attracted him to the other. He also had the habit of joking about things not needing to be joked about, like he did right now. It wasn't going to deter the Hale as his look softened. "You are worth everything to keep alive and kicking."  
  
It would have been easy to joke back, say that he was worth to keep alive because he'd be a menace to deal with as a ghost, since clearly he'd be too stubborn to move on. But this topic seemed to be sensitive still, probably for both of them. Too much had happened to have enough confidence to keep holding the head high and think death wasn't deserved. They both had killed, they both had done things they weren't proud of. But here they were, still trying to live life, protecting others, surviving.  
  
Stiles didn't have to look to know that Derek's whole being softened towards him as he uttered that one sentence which meant so much to him. He could feel and hear that the wolf meant it. Good thing his eyes were already closed, because it was easier to fight off the slight burning in them. He didn't like to _really_ talk about such deep things, but Derek was probably the only person in front of whom Stiles dared to show himself vulnerable. Not even Noah could qualify for this position. Mostly because Stiles didn't want to make his father worry. He had his fair share of worrying during his years and he was the only close relative he still had, so Stiles tried to spare him too much trouble because he loved him too much.  
  
Derek was already different. For one, he's been someone for years before this to whom he could go with his questions and worries. Neither of them was good at expressing real emotions, but sometimes Derek's silent attention while listening to him was enough for Stiles to figure things out or work through them. At first it was a strange transition from not really liking each other then saving each other’s' asses over and over to something like a... friend and "confidant" at times. But Stiles thought it was because both of them went through enough shit to understand each other. There were many things not even Scott knew about Stiles but Derek did. And of course there was the fact that now they were together as mates.

The young emissary was planning on staying as open and honest to his pair as possible. He'd always heard from his dad that honesty and compromise were the two most important building bricks of a successful relationship. There was no problem with the honesty part so far (especially since Stiles had the talent to twist words in a way that he could get away with many things) and Derek would be able to sniff out a lie anyway. As far as compromises went... well, they were both stubborn so that would need some more working on. Until then the bickering was going to stay – not that either of them didn't secretly like that part of their relationship...  
  
So now Stiles allowed himself (and for Derek to see) a few moments of just lying there open and vulnerable in the arms of his mate, the understanding he could feel warming the younger man's heart as he thanked him in his head, unable to utter the words themselves.  
  
"Running away never works,” Derek circled back. “I ran all the way to South-America and first Gerard Argent tracked me down to hunt me even there, then Chris Argent, and then you came to save me from getting killed in a massive manhunt. Might as well stay right here." Sometimes trips to his vault still there in South America, he had thought about getting one closer but with all the secrecy to get one and have it remain unknown and hidden, he had kept it and used the one on the school grounds as well.  
  
At the mention of moving back to bed, Derek laughed softly because Stiles was worse than him. "We'll go back to bed after I've shown you the building. And we're going to order in some food too because we'll need more than power bars to be ready for tonight." After washing their hair. His fingers brushed across a nipple, pinching the nub teasingly.

"It's a very good thing that I could help in saving you so we could end up here," Stiles murmured, enjoying the hair washing. "Tour and ordering in sounds great. But not as great as getting back in bed... soon, you sneaky big teaser... I can see right through you, but don't stop..." Stiles purred, a jolt of pleasure shooting down into his groin as his nipple hardened from the pinch.

"Hmmm," Derek hummed lightly, as if he didn't realize that he was teasing. Instead his fingers moved to rub the shampoo in the greasy locks, using the leftover suds for his own hair because he had short enough hair for it. It was of course tempting to just dry off soon and saunter back to bed naked, because they had the place to themselves and with his young kid, that wasn't going to happen often. She was already zoned in on running to their bedroom the moment she awoke in the morning, which was very early. Or Derek would wake up when Noah returned from a night shift. As Sheriff the man had the strangest hours and it was often unpredictable when he'd be back. Privacy was non-existent at the Stilinski house.  
  
Yeah, maybe the tour could wait, this was rare and they should make full use of it. "Maybe I can be persuaded." Big fat lie, Derek had already made up his mind that bed after bath was a perfectly good way to spend their time together. Which was all the human's fault really for getting Derek so interested in sex because now it felt like he couldn't get enough of it. It was clear Stiles was experienced and was into a whole lot, willing to let the older man explore with him and give him the time to figure out what he liked and what he didn't like. What he did know was that he loved being inside of his mate as much as the other way around. What he loved even more was the fact that Stiles wasn't expecting him to be the top, there was no pressure just complete freedom.  
  
Taking the shower head, he rinsed their hair and shut it off again. "I mean, our bodies are all oiled up now so it would be a waste not to use it." There was an innocent tone to his voice but like the human, he wasn't innocent at all. He could be in some things sure, but not right now. His voice was a purr against the pale skin, wrapping his arms around the other man's waist to pull him even closer. "Maybe spending our day in bed to experiment some more would be exactly what we need."

Goddammit this man was going to be the death of him, Stiles was sure about that. Because all that fake innocence and sneaky suggestions – not to mention the touches – were doing things to Stiles and his body. The first visible sign of that (aside from the hard nipples) was his pale skin breaking out in goose bumps all over. He bit down on his bottom lip to hold a few soft curses back, eyes still closed as Derek's hot breath ghosted over his flesh. He could literally feel that purr resonating in the chest against which he was plastered now even more. The right now not visible sign was his cock stirring awake under the oily water.  
  
His own hands found Derek's thighs on either side of him, gripping them lightly. "Hell yes it would be a waste... We shouldn't waste things, right?" Stiles murmured, wriggling his ass a tiny bit closer still. Two can play this game, right? With that thought in mind, he turned his face towards Derek's neck to lick then kiss into it, deeply inhaling the wolf. He loved this previously not really seen playful side of Derek. Loved it even more that the man was letting himself explore new things with him. Letting him grow (pun intended). That's why Stiles willingly let him, only adding a few clever remarks and quirks here and there. He wanted to see where Derek was going to take this. Not touring the building, that was sure for now…  
  
"I'm so okay with that plan. And the experimenting part. I love that bed," he huffed on a half-laugh, slightly wiggling his small ass against Derek's groin so very shamelessly as he pretended that he was just trying to get more comfortable. But that didn't fool either of them. "That bed has been missing us ever since we left it alone. So cold and lonely and messed up. I can practically hear it crying..."

The bodily reactions weren't the only little signs of Stiles that clued Derek in on how much he enjoyed it. He smelled of the beginning of arousal and there was that telltale husk in his voice as it broke from excitement. Derek knew him too well not to catch all that, same with that perky ass pushing against him, it meant there was an erection happening. Yes, he could read his human like a book but that was making it all the more fun for him to tease him. Without a word, he reached for the handle to open up the plug of the bath so the water could run down the drain.  
  



	2. 7: Into the Night - Part 2

**7: Into the Night – part 2**

Since the sheets of the bed needed a washing anyways, he didn't bother with towels. Instead he manhandled Stiles easily with him, putting him over his shoulder the moment they were out of the quickly emptying tub. Their skin was soft and not that slippery, the oil soaked into the skin so it had been a terrible excuse to get back in bed, an oddly placed joke the Hale was known for because not everybody got his sense of humor.

"The bed is very messed up, that's your fault." To emphasize that, he smacked the younger man on the ass, drops of water flying because of it. Leaving wet imprints, he walked over to the bed, dropping the other wet body on it as he stood at the foot of it.  
  
Stiles knew he had won the moment Derek unplugged the bathtub. Though his victory comment turned into a girlish squeak when he was manhandled onto the werewolf's shoulder. The world tilted from that perspective, but he found a very nice view (namely Derek's naked ass), so he stopped with the flailing of his hands and steadied himself with planting them just above the gorgeous globes for the short duration he was being carried back to the bed. It wasn't that bad of an experience to start complaining. Either way those would've been turned into the horny moan that escaped him when his ass was slapped. He had told Derek before that he liked that during sex and hoped it was not just to "scold" him, but a sign that he remembered it and wasn't shy to use it "against" him. He was still hooked on the slight burning sensation on his slapped skin when he was unceremoniously dropped on the bed, bouncing a bit from the impact.

The promise of experimenting was all nice and well but Derek had no clue where to even start. It wasn't that they had discussed much what they liked, it was mostly them having to try it out to see if there was a liking. Derek didn't watch much porn so he didn't know what there was all out there. But he did know one thing. Reaching for Stiles, he grabbed him by the ankle and pulled him close so they could kiss, it was a good start no matter what. He loved kissing Stiles, to taste him, to explore his mouth and caress his tongue. To steal his breaths and his moans by swallowing it all.

Stiles’ cock gave a serious throb and Stiles' eyes darkened with pure lust when he was once again manhandled by his ankle just to be buried under all those fine muscles. He kissed back blindly and hungrily, slender fingers brushing and groping the broad back as he shamelessly wrapped his legs around the equally wet body. The younger man let Derek dominate the kiss with setting the pace and welcoming his tongue in his mouth. His whole body felt warm and tingling as lust now slammed into him full force.  
  
"I just _love_ how you spank and manhandle me..." he whispered breaking the kiss for a moment just to dive back in. "I also love it when you grab me firmer... leaving your marks on my skin... Or when I'm held down by hands or some ties... Oh... even better when that hand is across my mouth to keep it shut or on my throat for some light pressure as I'm 'forced' to take it..." Stiles babbled, stealing short pecks from the moist lips. Stating these was Stiles' way to start telling Derek what he liked in bed (and they never did or barely brushed upon) and what Derek could experiment with if he needed some guidelines.  
  
Stiles wasn't stupid either with listing off ALL the things he liked in bed. One, because he didn't want to make Derek feel uncomfortable about him being the more experienced. Two, not wanting to come off as a slut instead of someone who knows what he likes and isn't ashamed of it. And three, not wanting to scare Derek off, because this was about encouraging him.

"Are you healed enough to take it?" Forced or not, Derek wasn't into causing his mate the kind of pain that would mean days of discomfort where sitting would create a stabbing feeling because humans healed slower. Sure, he was planning on making use of the lube royally but considering what they had done the night before, he wanted to make sure his mate was able to handle what he was about to dish out. And else they could easily switch it to the other way around.  
  
He also didn't think he'd enjoy seeing Stiles covered in deep dark bruises from head to toe, especially if they were ones he had caused. Some to lay claim he was fine with, and hickeys, he loved making those. In fact, he was planning on leaving two or three on Stiles' neck for all to see because he doubted the younger man was going to wear a scarf to cover it up, he loved being marked way too much. Reversing that was mostly a waste of time, they weren't there long enough for either one of them to enjoy it. Not that it kept Stiles from trying, nibbling and sucking at the werewolf skin each time to see if there was going to be something longer.  
  
There was no offer of what he liked himself because this was about Stiles and what he wanted. Stiles had already figured out Derek had enjoyed the spanking as well. They were probably well-matched in likes and dislikes in bed. His hand caressed the ankle he had grabbed, soothing the skin before he moved upwards, to the inside of the milky white thighs. "Do you want me to give it to you?"

"Yeah, I'm not a fragile flower, you know... Just a bit sensitive. Nothing a good preparing and a generous amount of lube wouldn't help with," Stiles snorted and opened his legs wider for Derek to give him more room. "I also think that I heal faster on my own thanks to our bonds and my magic," he mused. "Oh and your super effective oil," he chuckled, running a slender hand along the bulging chest, playfully pinching and rubbing a nipple. His way of repaying the same motion from before in the tub.  
  
"But if you are so concerned about my sexy ass' well-being..." he sighed dramatically, adding an eye-roll for good measure too "then you can take me slower as I'm lying on my side. That position relaxes my ass the most," he shrugged, letting the hardened nipple go to lightly scratch his blunt nails down on Derek's abs. Fuck, he was so hot leaning over him like that, his scent wafting towards him from the still wet skin. The remaining water drops were too much of an alluring tease and Stiles found himself pushing himself up on his forearm to kiss and lick some of them off the wolf's shoulder and collarbone.  
  
"I miss you from inside me like crazy," the human mumbled and didn't know if that desire was fueled by the mate bond or not, but it was the truth. Even with Derek right there and their bonds strong and magic settled in them, he felt kinda incomplete without their bodies and souls connected. Perhaps until Derek gets the other side of his soul back, that tiny nagging feeling will always stay in Stiles' mind. But of course, he didn't say that out loud. Derek felt guilty enough for Stiles' soul being tied to an incomplete one. That ritual couldn't come soon enough, because the young emissary wanted to help on him and make Derek stop feeling guilty about that. Not that he had high hopes that in case they succeeded, it wouldn't bring more shit to the table, but at least they might be able to work through those in due time.

Derek knew, he knew his mate was anything but a fragile flower. He was sturdy, resourceful, bounced back quicker than most would. But he was still a mortal human without werewolf healing, and they didn't know how much their connection would help Stiles heal so it wasn't something he'd bank on so easily until they knew for sure. Watching him limp after a rigorous lovemaking would probably fuel his guilt for being too rough even when the other didn't mind it, encouraged pain. With having half a soul, Derek feared he'd start to care too little about the pain he'd inflict so he was very careful.  
  
Muscles twitched when blunt nails raked down his abs, leaving red trails in their wake which disappeared before they even fully registered. The tongue did register, oh yeah, that feeling fully registered, making him breathe a little harsher, pupils widening. The heated words doing nothing to make him less eager. If anything, he was almost tempted to forego prep and slather lube on his rapidly filling erection to slide in home, the thought of being inside the warm tightness enough to take away any form of thinking. So he answered with a moan, because yes, he missed being inside Stiles as well.  
  
"Roll on your side," Derek told his mate hoarsely as he reached for the lube so he'd have it on hand, waiting for the human to make room on the bed so he could settle behind him. It would give him the perfect position to also reach around and help out Stiles hopefully repeatedly. As soon as the body was in position, he helped raise one leg to bend at the knee and rest a little higher as the other. Derek's lips kissed the back of the human's neck, breathing along the skin to lick at the shell of an ear. "I'm going to knot you, would you like that? Taking my knot like the first time."

It wasn't easy to breathe evenly whenever Derek was this close to him, but what he asked only made Stiles' heart speed up like crazy, a rush of blood flooding his mind just to go straight to his groin, making his cock throb and fill to its full glory quickly. He was in position on his side, Derek's hand moving him the way he wanted him to be and that in itself was a turn on too for the eager human. Just like the hoarse voice of Derek, which could always move something very primal deep inside of him. A longing that resonated with that basic need in the beast over him.  
  
Stiles shivered from the kiss on his nape and the hot breath puffing against his ear. The words that came after that made his whole body tense then relax, the guttural groan needy and edging on a whine of want. He vividly remembered that first time in the back of the Camaro, being surprise-knotted by Derek. It was so fucking intense that even just thinking about it made Stiles leak a few drops of pre-cum, his hand pulling Derek's to his front.  
  
"Fuck yes!" he breathed, head already spinning. He didn't exactly know how knotting worked for born wolves, but he knew from first hand that he loved being the recipient of it very fucking much. Plus he wanted to satisfy his mate to the fullest, so there was that. Sliding his hand from Derek's to a pale ass cheek of his own, Stiles grabbed it to pull on it, exposing himself for his mate as he turned his head to take a glimpse of the wolf's eyes with his needy ones. It blew his mind how Derek went from overprotective to wanting to knot the hell out of him. But he loved it very, very much!

"Knot me, Derek... I want all of you inside of me..." he licked into the wolf's mouth.

"Stiles..." He had to go and present himself by revealing his hole, showing it to invite him in and _oh god_ , how he wanted to be inside there. To let his mate feel just how much he needed him, Derek pressed his weeping erection against the tight hole, not pushing in, just nudging there to smear the little dribble of wetness along the puckered skin. "Stop making me want to take you like this, dry and without prep." The tease that he was knew exactly how to push Derek and get him right where he wanted him and of course the Hale let him, there wasn't anything he wouldn't let the young man do.  
  
Hungrily the kiss was returned, taking over because he felt like that's what his mate needed of him right now, to lead and dominate even though it was so much easier for him to let the human take control. It was why he was glad Stiles was his usual bossy self even in bed, even when he bottomed, as if he knew the werewolf needed some guiding. Sucking on the tongue, he uncapped the tube and slicked his fingers up, pushing his index finger all the way inside in one slide as the head of his erection nestled between the globes.  
  
Stiles gasped as he felt the blunt tip nudging and rubbing against his opening. His eyes rolled shut and he moaned shamelessly, fingers digging deeper into his own flesh. The chuckle that tore out of him was hoarse and out of breath. "I know you wouldn't do it even if I wouldn't mind it. I know you want to keep me safe and not hurt me," he murmured against Derek's lips, his teeth catching the bottom lip to playfully tug on it before returning the kiss hungrily.  
  
He instinctively knew Derek needed some guiding and he was very glad to give it to him to provide pleasure for both of them. The slicked up finger pushing up into him told Stiles he was doing something right and he moaned his appreciation between the wet lips, his tongue pushing and swirling against Derek's to coax more dominance out of him. He knew it was in the alpha and he wanted to awaken it, encourage it for the benefit of them both.  
  
The sound of his wet finger pushing in and out was something Derek would never get enough of, especially not with the way it felt: soft walls opening up to his digit, the second ring of muscles clamping down until it gave way. It was going to need some extra prepping and deep thrusts to make sure Stiles was all ready to take the knot. It was not easy to have it not pop around Stiles anyways, because all the sex was making Derek only eager for more, like he had all these years to make up for with his boyfriend.

It warmed Stiles' inside that Derek was slowly opening up about his sexuality like this, trying out things he has never done before. He loved that he was the one the wolf was doing many things with for the first time. That thought and the finger in him made the younger man buck his hips against the digit and the hard cock, his lean body moving with fluid rolls against the bigger one. Like waves licking against the rocky shore with practiced ease and perfection. One of nature's perfect ways of finding balance.  
  
"Derek... More, please..." he breathed into the kiss, ass encouragingly flexing around the wet finger in him.

"Anal tearing is no joke," Derek murmured, because that was why he held back in not sliding in with his cock. Taking pain wouldn't be enough to heal that and he didn't want to take Stiles to the hospital for it, only because his mate had lured him into not being careful. Derek was a werewolf, he always needed to be careful because he had the habit of falling for humans and had never been with another wolf like him. Stiles would be able to persuade him if he had prepped himself or if he was still slick and loose from a previous session.  
  
It was why Derek added more lube before he pushed two fingers inside Stiles, scissoring them to get him to open up, demanding entrance with deep forceful pushes. In a way to make up for not taking him the way he wanted it to happen. More lube to make it three fingers without giving Stiles the chance to get used to the two. The three digits pushed along the walls to rub the lube inside. Pushing them in with a twist, pull them out completely to add more lube and then they were pushed right back in so the hole didn't close, pushing the clear lubrication inside. "I will fuck you open to prepare you for my knot."  
  
"I know... I meant more fingers... more anything..." Stiles panted, eyes still closed as he arched his back, pushing his ass a bit closer to the exploring – now two – fingers. Then the third soon joined the other two and he groaned loudly. He was still somewhat sensitive, but he loved the intense stretching and preparation of his hole to take something bigger... then something even more challenging... He slowly moved against the fingers then bit down on the edge of the small pillow under his head, feeling so wet from all the lube, Derek's words only making him groan in agreement into the pillow. He wanted to shout "fuck yes," but he couldn't. He was afraid of letting the fabric out from between his teeth, because he knew he would start begging desperately and shamelessly to be taken, to be fucked raw and that would only make Derek give him another way too reasonable explanation why he had to wait.  
  
Derek’s comment meant he wasn't going to finger him open for longer, instead the fingers pulled out and the wolf slicked himself up, wiping off on the bedding. It took a hip shimmy and the move of his body to line himself up. The thick head pushed against the opened hole, dipping inside briefly before pulling away, teasing the rings to not clench before he pushed inside slowly.

Stiles’ position on his side did help when he felt that by then familiar pressure of the wide cock-head against his wet entrance. It was kind of a surprise because he thought Derek would keep fingering him until it got to a nearly unbearable point. But that's not what happened and it sent a hot wave of lust through Stiles, the tree tattoo on his back starting to shimmer, that familiar buzzing and prickling feeling cluing him in on it. But he was too busy moaning from the teasing and trying to relax his ass muscles even more to welcome Derek's hard cock in him again. It was mind-blowing each time and he found himself whine with pleasure as it finally pushed past the loosened ring of muscles.  
  
His hand finally let go of his own ass cheek, which held the imprints of his groping, and slid onto Derek's to knead it and encourage him to move deeper. He forced his shimmering amber eyes to open and he craned his neck to look at Derek's face again, moving his ass to meet the slow inward thrust, the intense sensation blurring the edge of his vision. "Derek..." he whispered amazed and totally floored by it. Not that this would be their first time, but each occasion took Stiles' breath away.

It did feel like sliding _home_ , like his dick had paved a way in there forever and the flesh would mold to it. The tightness folded around him as Derek bottomed out, the coarse hair of his pubes brushing against the soft skin of Stiles' cheeks. He felt how much Stiles enjoyed having the foreplay cut short, to have the thick erection carve its way inside of him, pushing at some of the still swollen tissue which was no doubt very sensitive.  
  
A hand kneaded at his own ass, encouraging Derek as it grabbed his muscular flesh, fingers digging deeply to leave bruising imprints which would never fully bruise. It fueled his own need, knowing how it felt to be penetrated and have the cock nestled there without moving, it was frustrating.

"Stiles," he answered back to his beautiful mate, his teeth teasingly grabbing at the nearest earlobe, his own entrance clenching at the tickle of the finger close to it. "You feel so good."  
  
Felt like something he could never get enough of, thirsting for his mate every minute of every hour of every day. Needing him in the way he needed oxygen. Stiles wanted him to be rough right now, to be dominating, to be his alpha in the way he thought alphas should be and the wolf wasn't going to disappoint. Instead of letting him adjust to the thick length all the way inside of him, he pulled out most of the way before thrusting right back in, setting an almost brutal pace without slowing down for even a second.  
  
 _Mine, mine, mine_ , every thrust said, every slap of flesh meeting flesh cried out.

Stiles reminded himself to breathe through the penetration, the stretching of his still a bit sensitive tissues and the very much stimulating pressure against them. The panting came when Derek bottomed out and paused only for a second. "You... feel so good... too..." he groaned and whatever else was on his lips, it was quickly fucked out of him with the unexpected rough trusts. Once again Stiles was wrong about Derek. He thought the wolf would start slow, work his way up to this intense pace, but no... He went right for it and it shocked Stiles' system enough that he forgot to breathe for a moment, the intense (nearly painful) pressure burned itself through his tissues, running up on his spine, lighting up his tattoo and eyes even more.  
  
He desperately slapped his hand from Derek's ass against the bed in front of him both to curl his hand into a fist around the creased sheets, and to steady his body against the merciless thrusts. It was what he wanted and he wasn't shy of letting his eyes roll back and close, body arching, and letting out guttural, nearly animal-like loud yells. He loved how they echoed through the loft, how it reminded them that they were alone and could get as loud as they wanted. That Stiles could be himself with this fucking perfect man!  
  
Pulling his knee upwards, he presented his wet ass even more for the taking, the wet slapping of flesh ringing loudly in his ears and making him feel so deliciously decadent. There was that unmistakable instinct woven into each possessive hard thrust.

"Yes! Yours!" he cried out, the pleasure-pain nearly too much, yet he couldn't stop wanting more. He wondered if how he acted would be anything close to a wolf being in heat for his mate, because it felt quite like that for Stiles. As if his whole body was on fire, wanting more, needing more. Needing his mate, who was the only one who could both stoke and satisfy that deep burning need in him.  
  
The water drops were soon switched out to a light sheen of sweat, making the slight golden glow look more prominent on his mole-dotted skin. He felt so full, so stretched out as his ass was being pounded so perfectly that he could've cried right there. But he didn't give in to that urge, not wanting Derek to misinterpret it for crying from pain. And he knew that stretch was going to get even more intense soon. That thought made his wet channel clench and pulse around Derek, gripping him tighter for a few moments, Stiles oozing and painfully hard cock jumping between his legs, smearing more pre-cum against the already ruined sheet. He just prayed that his cock was going to be left neglected for a little while longer, because he feared that if either of them touched it in that moment, he would unceremoniously blow his load all over the place and he wanted to do that when Derek's knot was already in him... Filling his belly continuously for long, long minutes until he feels like bursting from all that cum.

He would have taken some of the pain away if he felt that it was needed, if Stiles wanted him to but through their bond he could tell that he actually enjoyed the almost painful jabs. Almost painful because there had been plenty of lube used that it would prevent actual tearing. Derek was leaning on his elbow, one hand grasping a hip to keep the human from moving too much as he used his hips and ass muscles to really lay into his mate. The wet tightness kept inviting him in, even when he had pulled out all the way to admire the open sloppy hole before pushing right back in all the way to the hilt.  
  
Stiles was close, he could tell so he didn't reach for the erection even though he wanted to. Instead he pushed the body to roll more onto the belly, giving him the room to plant both hands on the mattress and have more control of his movements. The deep rough thrusts sped up, ass cheeks flexing each time he bottomed out, feeling like he was coring his way to an orgasm.

" _Mine_!" Derek bit out when he attempted to hit the prostate with his thrusts, tightening his muscles when he had bottomed out to bump deeper.  
  
There was a displeased sound when Stiles was left gaping for the hard cock, but it was buried in him soon enough again, tearing out more desperate moans and from the declaration of being owned by Derek a series of "yesyesyes" pants. He moved without protest, his own throbbing cock getting caught between his tummy and the damp sheets. The friction provided by his pair's merciless thrusts nearly too much. Sweaty and flushed face pressed into the pillow, Stiles' knuckles turned white from the force he was holding onto the poor sheets as his ass was being pounded.

It was a prelude for more, gearing Derek’s own body for the main event as well as preparing Stiles for it, pummeling the tight flesh into softness to accept bigger. And bigger it was. It was starting to fill up at the base of his cock, the large hard knot, growing rapidly as he moved, starting to catch on the rim until it wouldn't move unless doing serious damage, deeply embedded inside Stiles, locked.

Stiles could feel it... that unmistakable pressure growing against him, nudging, pushing, catching on his rim and he reminded himself to breathe while anticipation was killing him, the amber tendrils spreading on his hot skin. They sneaked onto Derek's chest the second the knot was in him and the frantic fucking suddenly screeched to a halt.

Derek knew his cock was coming when he couldn't pull out and he twitched, muffling his loud moans by feasting his mouth on the back of his mate's neck, sucking on the skin. His whole body nearly seized, unloading himself inside with spurts of hot cum. It was a large load at first and it would keep coming for minutes, pumping the body full to ensure breeding.

The human echoed the wolf's muffled moans but they came out freely and loud from his slack mouth. The sharp contrast between the hard pounding and now the deep slow grinding was yet another shock to his being and his whole body shuddered and cramped around the hard knot. He instinctively tried to pull his hip forward from the nearly uncomfortable tightening of his very wet and stretched hole, but Derek did a good job at pinning him down against the bed. There was no escape but also no pain involved.  
  
When his fuzzy brain realized what he was feeling in there, how his wolf was flooding his ass with that big load, an obscene yet pleased line of curses and moans mixed on his dry lips. Derek was coming, filling him up, enjoying his body, _breeding him_. And that knowledge was just as effective to turn him on beyond belief like the biting and sucking on his goose-fleshed skin by that special patch of skin (which he knew was one of the most important parts to lay claim for wolves).  
  
Derek was _claiming him as his_ and from that Stiles found himself whimpering with joy just as much as from the deep grinding into his ass and against his poor prostate. He found himself uttering dirty nonsense and sounds he didn't know he could produce while he managed to sneak a hand under himself to slowly pump his trapped cock. With each pulse of the knot, with each growl-like moan of his mate, he was pushed closer and closer, his hand getting tighter and tighter around his own erection. He never wanted this to end but he still teased his cock for a while until it got too much for him too and the wetness spread between his stomach and fingers, messing up the sheet even more on a nearly silent orgasm. It did the usual trick and wiped his mind clean, some of his power licking along their skin, spreading warmth and satisfaction.

The orgasm had come on sudden and almost earth-shattering with the way it pulled out the breath from Derek while his hips kept pumping. The movement was small, light little twitches so to not tear apart his mate by putting too much pressure from the inside out. His thick cock was pushing up against the nub of sensitive flesh while the head of his erection kept spilling more into Stiles, because knotting was as messy as it could be.  
  
His blunt human teeth bit down on the spot he had been sucking on, pinning his mate even more as he refused to let go of the flesh until he knew it would bruise. It would show off the indents of his teeth in clear red prints. A claiming mark right where it mattered. Soon he'd use his human teeth to sink into the skin and draw blood so it would scar and remain forever. Not right now, he was saving it for a special occasion.

Stiles was moving, the wolf could feel it through their bodies, could smell and hear what he was doing and as much as he had wanted to be the one to do that, his hands were too busy gripping at the sheets and pinning them both to the bed. At least this time his claws hadn't ripped into them, he had known what had been going to transpire because it wasn't the first time anymore but it certainly was still as intense as it had been in the car.  
  
The thick knot kept all that seed plugged up inside and it felt so very wet as more was being added because of the magic connecting them as much as their bodies did. It heightened everything as he felt the ember fire trickle along his chest in caresses, almost like low voltage electricity would attempt to burn his skin and only fried the nerve endings. A new scent joined them, the scent of Stiles' release about the same time as the wall clamped around him tight. It drew sounds from him he was unable to keep in as his body twitched at the extra sensation when it already had been far too much.  
  
It left Derek panting at the skin he had marked up, licking at the bruising in a soothing manner while their sweat mingled and the only sounds were their own harsh breathing. Their hearts hammered in their chests, attempting to get back to its normal rhythm but Derek wasn't near done, he was going to be tied for another ten minutes or so. If they did the knotting too often, they'd have no brain left functioning.

Stiles was so lost to the world, to his rational mind. It was all instincts right then. He wondered briefly if it was so intense for wolves all the time since they were instinct-based creatures despite the human bodies. Especially when it came to born wolves like Derek. Maybe one day he was going to ask about it, but not now. Now... now he was shamelessly enjoying the way he was pinned down by the hot and heavy werewolf. He couldn't move an inch once his messed up hand slipped out from under him.  
  
The back of his neck was throbbing with sweet pain, the licks soothing some of it away as he let his mate live out some of his wolf instincts on his immobilized (and pliant) body. Though the knotted emissary lifted a finger to his panting lips and sucked and licked some of his own cum off with some dirty sounds. Then he offered the remaining two fingers with spunk on it for Derek in case he wanted to taste him too.  
  
Stiles wondered if it didn't bother Derek how much he enjoyed being knotted by him. It didn't seem so, but the human doubted that many would understand this deep craving and satisfaction for this form of having sex with a werewolf. His literally fucked apart mind shied away from another possibility for now, because he was already too overwhelmed to deal with that picture in his head.  
  
Instead he purred satisfied, his hips gently rocking against Derek and the knot with barely there moves, encouraging him to keep going, to keep filling him up.

The fingers being offered weren't denied, Derek sucked them into his mouth to lick them clean, the salty taste of his mate exploding along his tongue. Stiles bit his lip as he watched from the corner of his eye how Derek was doing that and it made him feel even more satisfied because his mate wanted his taste to cover the eager tongue. The slimy fluid stuck to Derek’s gums before he swallowed, wetting the fingers with his spit before he released them. He had to, the rocking motions made him gasp. It was almost too much on his engorged knot, though it did draw another spasm of cum to add to the rest. It was an almost horrifying amount and he felt completely milked dry.  
  
Stiles enjoyed taking the knot, luckily because it would make sex strenuous if he had to keep it from popping all the time, to be able to do this made Derek feel accepted. But until Stiles he hadn't felt like it was something he had been wanting to share, it was intimate and a reminder of what he really was. Not all of his exes had been ready to handle that part of him while Stiles accepted him fully, had been the only one willing to research werewolves. He didn't know what it felt like to be knotted but he hoped it felt as mind-blowing as it did for him.  
  
"Stiles...." the Hale moaned when he kept wriggling to tease more out of his knot, wrecking his lover for all his worth so Derek could only pin him and shiver on top of him. It was painful to be milked when he thought he didn't have anything left to give. It was too much and yet he didn't stop Stiles because there was something addictive about that kind of pleasurable pain. The walls contracted around him and oh god, there was another gush of warmth, a hoarse cry echoing around them. "Stiles." The name left him in a sigh, feeling like his mate had wrangled orgasm after orgasm out of him.

The human was just lying there, only his ass moving so tantalizingly slowly against the hard cock and knot in him. There was something very basic and intimate (maybe even moving) in the barely there movements. Their louder moans were switched to quiet panting and sighs and the occasional wrecked 'Stiles' comments from Derek. The way he uttered his name sent pleasurable shivers down his spine each time.  
  
He was shamelessly milking the other man, because he wanted _all_ of his watery cum for himself. He had no idea that he'd enjoy having sex with a werewolf (with all of its perks) so much. Years ago when he had read about knotting, he... well, he didn't feel horrified. It was a concept and possibility that sparked his interest and curiosity. And now it was the second time he was at the recipient end of it and he had to realize that he loved it very much. Because Derek made sure to balance on the fine line of pleasure and pain, so far not once tipping towards the too painful side. Being stretched so wide, locked together with a hot werewolf body and being filled so full felt... more than amazing. There wasn't really a word for it in his vast vocabulary.  
  
"It's okay... _I want it all_... Make you cum until you can't..." he whispered hoarsely, lying there in complete physical submission, his mind still floating and light. "If you _really_ want me to stop... say so and I will... Hm... we should come up with a safe word for you for such situations," he chuckled lightly, in response his ass trying to close tighter around the knot again, which made him gasp and quietly groan. "So full of you... Feels so good..." he mumbled with closed eyes as he kept slowly fucking himself on the knot. "Does this make me your bitch?" he asked, unable to stop himself.

There was already a feeling that he couldn't come anymore but Stiles seemed intent on proving Derek wrong each time he moved and yet, he didn't stop it. The word was on his tongue, he knew all he had to tell Stiles was to stop and he'd stop because he listened, he was very attuned to making sure the werewolf wasn't forced to do anything he didn't want to. But Derek wanted to toe the line, he wanted to explore his limits with the one person he could do that with, with the one person who cared about his feelings more than his own. So he didn't say stop, not even after the invitation to do so, not even when he felt like he was going to stay locked inside forever because the younger man wasn't going to let his knot go down anytime soon.  
  
"I don't want it to stop, not even when I beg you to.... _Ungh_." The groan took his words away when the ass squeezed him so tightly that Derek swore he saw stars and his cock twitched pathetically in a last effort to give more seed, though he doubted there was more to give. Everything was so wet inside, it was hard to tell if there had been anything added. His whole body trembled, and he was sweating profusely, his dick confused if it should go down or remain hard for another round because of the knot. "You're killing me here."  
  
Deeply breathing, he attempted to adjust within, only pushing deeper, feeling another wave about to ripple over him. The sound he made wasn't anything human anymore, it was guttural, more howl-like than anything else as he came again. Claws fully ripped the sheets up, the orgasm was borderline painful now, his testicles producing way more than would be humanly possible. His body was a heavy blanket on top of Stiles, because the muscles felt like jelly, he was going to need a moment to move again.  
  
The human under Derek was in silent awe, his own ass and abused hole getting borderline too sensitive by then too, but he kept going, letting his magic gently caress the wolf's wet skin like invisible warm hands. He opened his eyes and saw in the line of his vision how the claws ripped the poor sheets into shreds. A warm wave of pride washed over him and he made an approving sound in reaction to Derek's next orgasm and animalistic sounds and puffing. His skin kept breaking out in goose bumps after each hot puff of breath against it.  
  
 _SO_ dead, Stiles was going to be the death of him. Exhausted warm pants puffed along sweaty skin. "Think I'm your bitch..." Derek laughed.

The answering chuckle came out as if Stiles was drunk (which was true since he felt drunk on his man). "You finally realized that? Thought you are cleverer than this, big man..." he purred, rubbing his cheek against the damp pillow, eyes closing with satisfaction. He felt warm and safe and sated, his magic lazily swirling around them like an added thick blanket.  
  
"You were the one wondering if you were my bitch," Derek protested because as bossy as Derek could be as alpha, he was still exploring that side of himself when it came to sex and giving into Stiles was familiar, pleasant. The human knew exactly how to turn it around on him, even when Derek was dominant and he loved that thrill of pushing and giving. They had nothing to prove to one another, only to explore. Clearly they had explored multiple orgasms through knotting this time.

Stiles felt it that it was over and he _finally_ slowed his rocking down until he was just lying there motionless, splayed out and pinned to the bed by the heavy and warm werewolf body on top of him. He didn't even mind that his breathing was a bit shallower from that weight. He was exactly where and how he wanted to be. Under his mate, exhausted from another round of amazing and overwhelming sex. He's been with a few partners, but none of them could compare to this. To Derek.  
  
The feeling of happiness bubbled up in Stiles for being able to give such mind-blowing pleasure to Derek. He knew he was the first and hopefully the only one for the rest of their lives who could provide him with such deep satisfaction and that (and the muttered hoarse comments) made his still faster beating heart stutter with joy and pride.  
  
Stiles moved his hand to slide his fingers between the clawed ones without any fear or doubt in his mind that he was safe with his mate with whom both his body and soul were still connected. "This is so perfect. Never want to move again."

The magic hadn't receded, it was still swirling around them but neither of them was in much of a hurry to break apart, not that they could. Derek's erection had gone down and the knot was starting to recede as well but it did slowly. "Don't move, I don't think I can take another orgasm." It didn't feel like Stiles could take one either, the walls of his ass had tightened, swollen and sensitive from the rough fucking they had done and the thick knot. It was going to be a complete mess once the knot stopped plugging but the sheets were ruined anyways due to his claws.  
  
As the fingers entwined with his clawed ones, they receded, not because he was afraid to hurt his mate but because his anchor made him realize he was still in half-shift.

"I don't mind being your bitch when you knot me. Actually, I love it in these situations," Stiles murmured. "And even without a knot I can make you my bitch too, I'm sure of it," he grinned into the pillow, stroking Derek's human fingers. "Don't worry, I think I'm done for today too. I doubt my ass would be able to take much more," he sighed smugly.  
  
They were going to have to move soon, the knot was shrinking more now that he had been swollen for longer than the first time, some of the cum already trickling out past his soft cock and Stiles was tightening up so...

"I'll move. Slowly." Slowly meant he leaned on his elbows and gently backed away, letting his cock slip out with a very wet squelch. Rolling sideways, he settled next to Stiles on his back, their bodies a mess of semen, red streaks and bruises.

The softening cock finally slipping free of his worn out body filled Stiles with mixed feelings. A part of him was relieved that the pressure was gone from his abused and oversensitive tissues. (He imagined his hole was red and puffy from all the fucking and the knot. Though he didn't mind it at all.) But another – bigger – part of him felt the loss of that physical connection, which left him literally empty. He could feel his hole gaping, the cooler air making the wet muscles contract, which in turn made more of the big load of watery cum dribble down on the back of his balls, wetting the sheet even more under him than his own sperm did earlier.  
  
Stiles moaned softly and while Derek was trying to find his center already lying next to him on his back, he couldn't stop himself from reaching back between his ass cheeks. He let his fingertips carefully trace the sensitive and very wet rim, even slipping a bit inside the loose hole.

"Fuck..." he breathed, looking wretched and like someone so very well-fucked, his eyes finding Derek's as he clenched his hole, catching another stream of cum on his fingers, smearing it between his reddened cheeks before lifting the glistening fingers to his lips to lick them clean. The sounds he made were outright dirty.  
  
Derek watched with glistening eyes as Stiles sucked the cum from his fingers like it was a treat. He had seen how red and swollen the entrance was so he hadn't wanted to antagonize it further. Clearly his mate didn't have the same kind of reservation, he caught some of it and let the rest leak out sliding close to the wolf. An arm went around the wrecked body, fingers trailing along a mole-dotted arm.  
  
Once done with the tasting of the cum, Stiles scooted even closer to Derek under the caresses so he could nuzzle against him, his hand tracing the fading amber swirls on the wolf's skin. "I have to admit that I love it very much when you knot me. Love how it makes me gape and ooze all that cum out afterwards," he whispered with a slight blush on his cheeks as he laid his forearms on the sweaty chest and propped his chin on the back of his hand.

"It's almost the same size of a fist, yours, not mine." So of course it left Stiles gaping, it only tightened up because the tissue was swelling. It might bother Stiles for a day or so, even with his quicker healing. With half-lidded eyes, he glanced over at the human, a soft smile on his face. The magic was still around them even when their bodies were no longer connected. "Don't blush, I'm glad you love it so it's not only rewarding for me." It was very rewarding for him because he had come many times and so intense that he actually felt tired from having sex. His mate only came once but seemed just as tuckered out.  
  
He'd get used to taking the size, and not be as sensitive anymore. Something Derek was looking forward to so he could finger him afterwards and eat him out. This time though, he was letting the tissue focus on healing. It was going to need a few more times until the human's body had adjusted enough. Moving a little, he pushed closer so their legs could entangle, ignoring the wet spots. Everything was soaked through at this point. And everything was smelling like sex.

"So then I can brag about being able to take a fist up in my ass?" Stiles half-joked, nuzzling even closer to Derek, enjoying the soft caresses on his arm and the way their legs tangled, but even more so Derek's soft smile which truly made his face look happy, satisfied and beautiful. Stiles loved it that he could put that expression there. "Or I guess this qualifies me as a size-queen too. You know, someone who can take a big cock up there," he mused, letting his fingertips play with Derek's chest hair lazily.  
  
"I saw a few useful balm recipes in Deaton's books which can speed up the healing and regenerating of tissues. I'm just starting to realize that I might have been naive to assume they were only for injuries after fighting. I think those people of the old days of packs and druids and emissaries were dirtier and more resourceful back then too. I also seem to remember the wolf book mentioning a balm in the mating section. I might look into it how to make and apply it so you can stop worrying about my ass," he babbled quieter than usual, but there was a smile on his face which he couldn't wipe off.  
  
"And it's totally not rewarding only for you. I mean the knotting. I had no idea I'd love it this much. It's very intense, yes, but also you make sure it stays enjoyable. Which in turn makes me want to do it again over and over," he giggled. "Plus it's a natural thing for born wolves like you. I'm happy you don't have to hide this from me," the younger man said, knowing that it wasn't just about Derek's self-control, but also a deeper level of trust that he had reached with his mate. After all, there had to be a reason why Stiles was the very first person whom Derek tried knotting. And for that trust he was very grateful.

"Stiles..." Derek laughed, attempting not to crush any fantasies Stiles would have but even though werewolf packs were very open, they could be old-fashioned. Males together didn't create offspring and an alpha's purpose, one of them, was to further the lineage of the pack. "Born werewolves are well-endowed and a lot of the emissaries were with their alphas so the cream was most likely for the female druids." Then again, it was possible it was used for males as well, polyamory wasn't that farfetched if most of the pack consisted of bitten wolves. Closeness of pack was often confused with sex, normally they were all tactile creatures.  
  
Most of the babbling Derek just listened to, it wasn't that he dismissed it completely, he remembered what was being told, he was always attentive, most of the time anyways, but he wasn't that into talking and he didn't need to. His mate knew perfectly well that he wasn't going to react to all that was being said. Derek would zero in on what was important to them and he'd react to that, unless it hit way too close and then he'd ignore it in favor of not ruining the mood. "I'm happy it was with you and not anybody else." In fact, everything he did with Stiles sexually felt good, no regrets, not with him.  
  
The human's ear-to-ear smile was back from hearing Derek's laugh. He knew that he was laughing on some things he was babbling about since as a wolf he probably had better insight on things that concerned his kind. But it didn't bother Stiles at all if he was wrong about something. When it counted or mattered, he was sure Derek would correct him.  
  
"I'm very happy too about that," Stiles murmured kinda moved, the blush making a return too. He knew instinctively that this was a big thing for Derek. "It might sound weird a bit, but I feel... honored," he shrugged and laid his cheek on his own hand which was still resting on the wolf's chest.  
  
It wasn't... honor. Not exactly but Derek knew what his mate meant, he was aware that for Derek knotting was something he wouldn't share so easily. Unless he was certain of being with that person for longer than a brief fling, until he was certain that he wasn't being used for his body, though that had never been a concern with Stiles. And the trust had been there because they had been building their friendship over the years. What had really given the green light though, to stop controlling it so tightly, was the fact the human had dropped everything for him, for them to have a life together. Where everybody had been busy to run away from him, this young spazzy man only ran towards him and held on tight. So it was Derek who was honored in the end.  
  
"I can take your pain, you know." All Stiles had to do was ask, but Derek wasn't going to simply take since the human had made it clear he did enjoy pain to a certain point and only he would know what that point was. If it was up to Derek, he'd pull it all but that would be hypocritical since pain had been all he had chased before Stiles had mended some of his broken half-soul.

"I know you can, but I'm not in pain right now. It's gonna be just a bit... uncomfortable for a while. Besides I love feeling where you've been. If I could give you that too, I think you might like that reminder too. I'm lucky to have these..." he said and as an addition, reached to the back of his neck to brush against the still slightly throbbing bite mark there. "How did it make you feel leaving such a vivid mark there?" he asked, always curious about how Derek as a born werewolf saw the world and why he did things in a way he did them. How those made him feel.

Derek nodded at the mention of the reminder. "If we come across a spell which allows you to make me feel it for longer than we're doing it and without getting wolfsbane involved, I'm all for it." Because yeah, he'd like to know what it was like to have to limp, to feel the deep ache when he wanted to sit down all because of their frantic love making.  
  
Pale green eyes glanced to where the long fingers were caressing, the bite mark showing swollen red edges. "Possessive. It's to claim you, assert my dominance over you, it’s telling me and others that you belong to somebody. Not that many will know." Too few born werewolves were left, the bitten ones weren't as instinctual, they were caught up in their human ways to give into what their bodies were telling them. Or they'd lose control and give in way too much and go feral. Stiles had been the only one willing to read Derek's way of communicating, him and Peter who had immediately realized the traumatized Hale had lapsed into non-verbal communication through body language.

"I'll keep that in mind during my research," Stiles reassured Derek with a wink, his fingertips absently brushing along the forming bruises around the indents left by the wolf's teeth. He even lightly pushed down on some of them, the flaring up slight pain making his breath hitch and some warmth spread in his groin. Not that anything would come out of it, but it was a nice feeling as pain turned into pleasure. One of Stiles' hidden addictions. Well, not hidden in front of Derek anymore.  
  
He loved learning new things, everyone knew that about Stiles Stilinski. From a young age he was like that and after the death of his mother it grew into nearly an obsession. Trying to occupy his mind nearly all the time wasn't just because of his ADHD, but to distract himself from the void and pain that the passing of his beloved mother caused to the young Stiles. With time though, he had realized that he loved acquiring knowledge and he drank it in like a dry sponge, his mind storing a myriad of information. Some he forgot with time or had to be reminded to remember them, others burned into his memory for good. Information about werewolves and other supernatural creatures seemed to belong to the latter category. Especially when it was about one grumpy werewolf close to his heart. He loved learning new things about Derek and he, among many other reasons, also loved being in a relationship with him because he knew that there was still a lot for him to discover about his mate.  
  
"I love that concept. You know what a possessive bastard I can get, so I get it. And love it," Stiles repeated to emphasize that. Not that Derek didn't know how much he loved the wolf's marks on him or how he loved to try leaving his own on the quickly healing skin. Maybe his mate was right and he was going to have to quickly find some kind of a spell or ointment or something that would allow that to happen longer than a few minutes. "Also, I don't really care who or how many might pick upon me belonging to you. I can make that clear for the rest, if necessary. Otherwise it's enough for me that we two know that," he shrugged and craned his neck to peck Derek's lips.

Oh yes, he knew how possessive Stiles could get, he was like a werewolf with that, even worse than Derek but the Hale loved every minute of it. The human had been like that since they had met with everybody he cared about so it wasn't much of a surprise to see him develop that side when they got to the boyfriend stage. It was too new to have seen it often but he was looking forward to seeing more of it. It made him proud to be mated to somebody like Stiles and he knew Stiles was only possessive because he didn't like sharing certain aspects of Derek and Derek didn't like sharing anything with strangers.  
  
Maybe that's why Stiles liked to have a wedding someday. It was pretty much the ultimate way for humans to be possessive and show off the possession by putting a ring on it. And having rings would please Stiles as much as the mark now did for Derek. Which meant he was going to wear said ring with pride, if only to see that look in his mate's eyes.

"How does food sound? I'm starting to get hungry from all the hot sex," Stiles grinned. "We could order soon-ish, don't you think? Or nap first?"

"We should order food, and I'll clean the bed while you shower. I've left enough in you to be leaking for days if you don't clean yourself out."

Stiles smirked dirtily because it was true. He could feel that Derek's cum was slowly oozing from him ever since he had pulled out his cock. And while it made him feel satisfied – a constant reminder of what they just did and to whom he belonged – they wouldn't be lying around for days. They had to go to Deaton in a few hours for more training. Leaking into his briefs would be uncomfortable and embarrassing.

With a dramatic sigh, the human kissed Derek's chest before pushing himself up on his hands on either side of his man's arms. "Alright, fine. I'll shower. You can join me too once you had your fill of me and sex all over you," he grinned down at Derek, knowing just how much his mate loved to roll around and drink in their mixed scents after sleeping together and/or having sex. Yes, that stroked Stiles' ego and aforementioned possessive tendencies.

Reaching for his phone, Derek looked at the website he knew pretty much had all the delivery places in the area listed. "What are you feeling like?" Beacon Hills wasn't large enough to have a wide selection of food but it had the most standard restaurants to pick from. Something filling would be good, he knew he was going to eat a lot to replenish all the protein he had lost. He could eat a whole pizza by himself right now and still want more. On cue, his stomach rumbled loudly, almost like a reminder that a nap wasn't happening before food.

"I feel like thoroughly fucked," he joked, knowing that Derek didn't mean that, but he loved stating such things without a filter on his mouth. He loved how he only rarely had to filter himself when he was with Derek. "Otherwise a meat lover pizza sounds like heaven. Think I can eat one all by myself," he shrugged and leaned down to give Derek a proper kiss, the tint of the taste of cum still lingering in the human's mouth and tongue as he did so.  
  
Leaving Derek in bed all naked was probably going to be one of his least favorite things to do, but as he focused on locking up his magic – already feeling colder both from that and the loss of the warm werewolf body – he did head towards the bathroom, grabbing only a clean tee and boxers on his way. (He so didn't mind the stream of wolf-cum wetting the inside of his thighs as he walked, his bare ass still a bit red from all the slapping and pressing against it. He knew cleaning himself was going to sting like a motherfucker, but that was a price he was so willing to pay for such sex sessions with his mate.  
  
There was a considerably guilty look when Stiles pointed out he knew exactly what Derek did before he would pull off the sheets, there was no denial either because yeah. He loved their scents and semen soaked into him and he didn't like washing it all away. But finding their bed crispy with dried cum after another grueling magic session wouldn't be good. He might hold back from sniffing the sheets this time though, just to prove Stiles wrong. Looking up at the human hovering over him, he nodded at the want of pizza, eyes tracing every movement of the human as he made his way to the bathroom, his thighs wet with Derek's release.  
  
Derek used the app to order two meat lover pizzas and added two lava cakes as dessert, as well as two large sodas because Stiles needed the extra sugar for energy. With the option to have it delivered as soon as possible, they probably had like forty five minutes tops. Which was fifteen minutes less by the time the wolf had put the dirty sheets in the washer and clean ones on the bed.  
  



	3. 7: Into the Night - Part 3

**7: Into the Night – part 3**

In the bathroom Stiles lightly hissed when the warm water hit the bite on the back of his neck, but he began washing himself, fingers mapping out and cataloging all the new marks on his body, his heart fluttering pleased from the older and newer signs of being Derek's. It was such a head rush for the human that he pulled on an ass cheek a bit firmer to test just how sensitive he was. A soft moan left him as he kept his hand like that, the other leaning against the cool tiles while Stiles let the water rush down his crack, washing away the oozing cum. The tingling soon faded and became a soothing and cooling sensation against his sensitive pucker so he stayed in that position for a while to enjoy it.  
  
Retrieving clean underwear and jeans from his bag, the Hale joined Stiles in the bathroom, finding him not in the tub but in the shower in the corner. Leaning against the tiles while the water streamed along his no doubt aching backside. As he joined, he glanced down, since it was right there. It looked red and puffy and painful but instead of feeling guilty, he was actually feeling a sense of pride since Stiles had let him do this, wanted it even. This hadn't been because he had been too rough by accident, this was because he had been rough by invitation and that made all the difference. There were old and new bruises, new hickeys and a bite mark while Derek's body was dirty but unblemished.  
  
"Food will be here in thirty," he muttered against an ear shell as he pressed against the naked body to reach for the body wash.

Stiles could sense the quietly moving around wolf and his body heat even before he talked or pressed against him. His breath hitched, goose bumps breaking out on his skin, his whole being suddenly very aware of how close Derek was to him once again. In response of that his cock tried to stir alive, but Stiles wasn't sure if it was going to or not. He came only once compared to Derek, but his body felt kinda exhausted and certain parts certainly throbbing.  
  
"Good... I'm starving like a wolf..." he chuckled on his clever pun, eyes still closed, but his face moved in the general direction of Derek's lips. He loved it so much when the wolf murmured low into his ear with his hot breath puffing against the sensitive skin. "After eating, we'll still have some time before heading to the animal clinic. Before we do so, I have some reading from Deaton's books to do," he murmured, listening to Derek's movements with the body wash. He hoped as hell that some of it would be rubbed on his pale skin too, because his muscles all of a sudden felt like lead but at the same time also relaxed from the warm spray of water.  
  
It was crazy how good and intense it felt being close to his mate again, even if only minutes have passed since they were one and then lay plastered against each other afterwards in bed. The emissary wondered if this feeling would last for the rest of their lives. He guessed so. He hoped so. Because it quickly became his favorite feeling.

"You can lounge in bed and read, I promise I won't take advantage of you," the wolf chuckled as he spread the body wash in his hands so he could gently wash the grime from his mate's body. As much as he would love to go for another round, he could tell Stiles was all sexed out and was in more pain than he'd admit. So no, they weren't going to do anything even remotely sexual no matter how much either one of their bodies was into it. Instead he focused on getting the two of them clean while the warm shower would probably loosen up some of those aching muscles.  
  
Freshly showered and clean clothed, Derek didn't even have time to put on a shirt when the downstairs doorbell rang. Instead he got some shoes on to run downstairs with his wallet, returning with the boxes of pizza and dessert and the bag with the two cups of soda. They were placed on the coffee table near the couch.

"Food." As if Stiles couldn't smell and see that for himself, the bed was right there. Singling out his long sleeved red thumb sweater, the Hale pulled it on, guiding his mate to the couch. "You can eat the whole pizza." It was sometimes surprising how much Stiles could pack away while he looked like he did. Black hole in his stomach or something or the magic was burning away calories like a work out.  
  
Sex certainly burned some as well. The food smelled mouthwatering, and Derek didn't even wait, he was already opening a box to grab a slice because the younger man wasn't the only one starving. It felt like they were on their honeymoon in their own home but even Derek hasn't been here in a while.

After the shower Stiles felt much better and while Derek went down to get the food, he pulled his boxers and blue 'Nerd' T-shirt on, not bothering with jeans or shoes just a pair of warm socks yet. The loft felt a bit cold for his human self, especially after a warm shower and werewolf body around him. Perhaps it was the hunger too that kept his stomach grumbling in every few seconds now. And the use of magic from last night, which (along with their thorough lovemaking session) burned through the protein bars quickly.  
  
Derek's obvious announcement put a smile on his face as he stopped checking his phone and let his mate guide him to the couch. He sat down on it a bit more careful than usual and once he found a comfortable position, pulled the whole box onto his lap, happily stuffing his face with the first slice. Until he sent the whole slice down, there was no peep from the young emissary – which could be kinda weird for most who knew the real him.  
  
"This is so good..." Stiles finally talked, licking some warm meat sauce from the corner of his lips then took a sip from his soda too. "As much as I like pizza and ordering in, if we gonna spend more time here during our training, we should stock up on food and more essential stuff here too. And before you don't take advantage of me in bed time, you also promised a tour of the building to me," he looked at Derek and took another bite from his next slice, not being able to take his eyes off his mate, it seemed.

They were both on the couch, stretched out with a box of pizza in their laps, devouring a few slices before they slowed down to actually enjoy the taste of the food. They had both been starving for sure, having so much sex and the high of all the magic was burning through their reserves quickly. And with Derek's high metabolism, he was going to have to make sure he'd eat more than usual and keep shoving food to Stiles as well because he had that habit of forgetting to actually eat when engrossed in something he was interested in. Magic for sure was something he was very interested in.  
  
After the second slice Stiles began feeling the devoured meat and food starting to hit his brain, firing it up and slowly chasing away the tiredness from his muscles. It was nice to be able to think a bit clearer too and he kept chewing away on the remaining slices in a steady yet slower pace. He had no idea just how hungry he really was. He could eat a lot, yes, whenever he didn't forget to do so and from Derek's look Stiles knew that he now had someone to pay attention to always replenish that kind of energy whenever he would forget on his own. It was a nice feeling to have someone who would care about his well-being, because he had gotten used to living alone in San Francisco and his diet often consisted of his meds, coffee, energy drinks and unhealthy fast food. Not that it would show on him. Living with Derek would certainly change that too as they had to cook healthy dishes for Beth too.  
  
"I doubt we'll be up for groceries tonight so maybe tomorrow if we're not going ho… to your dad's place." Home had been the Stilinski house for months now, it was going to need some getting used to to have it changed back into the Loft. Which, to be fair, had never been much of a home. They were going to change that, it's why the tour was good. Stiles was a visual person, he liked seeing it beyond plans on paper. And Derek had never given anybody free reign to roam his building. He took another bite before he answered. "A tour's not a bad idea." It wouldn't take too long, then Stiles could focus on reading.  
  
Derek had plans with a book too, or nap, sleep was also pretty nice in preparation for whatever it was Deaton had planned for them this time. It had been fairly easy on him yesterday, though the influx of magic had taken a considerable leap so it was either easier today or they were in for a rude awakening. With Deaton, it could go many ways and never one they'd like.

"Sounds reasonable," Stiles murmured around a huge bite of pizza, looking at Derek lost in thoughts for a moment from the way he stopped saying 'home'. Of course, this was a big change for the wolf too and Stiles hoped that he was really okay with it. Soon they were going to have to pack his things up in Frisco too and move them here to store them before the construction work can start. Paying the bills and rent in the big city was a waste of precious money Stiles couldn't afford for long, so despite the intense training Deaton had put them under, they were going to have to find the time to do that soon.  
  
"During the tour you could show me where we are going to store my stuff from Frisco," he nodded, hinting at his previous thoughts. "We should move my shit over here at the beginning of the new year, I think," he added as an afterthought, stuffing his face some more before drinking more of his soda, eyes fixed on the remaining slices while doing so.

"The apartments are in decent condition, not as bad as the loft but I think the ground floor near the lift would be easiest." Moving wasn't a problem for Derek, he could lift a car without breaking a sweat and punch through concrete walls. But lugging things from the elevator straight into the loft was easiest and quickest. He had no idea if Stiles had a lot of things. He was certainly more of a hoarder with all his geek stuff of figurines, comics and video games than the Hale was. Once upon a time Derek had all those things too but after the fire he had never bothered to collect again. Except comics, there was a reasonable pile back in New York.  
  
They had to get started on the Loft in the new year as well but there was a rut coming up in January and he had no idea what kind of a condition he'd be in once he got his soul back. And that was the most important. If he was balanced, then maybe Stiles' magic wouldn't be all over the place either. Though keeping an apartment in San Francisco without salary would be putting a sizable dent in Stiles' savings so... Maybe the soul had to wait longer.  
  
"I have my rut in the beginning of January so we should move your things the first few days immediately. I'll be out of commission for a week or so." Depending on how bad it got this time. There was no way of knowing, it was his first one with his soul being in pieces, first one since coming back from Hell, first one when having bonds to maybe lessen the crazed phase? It all depended on what they were going to do even though Derek had the idea of hiding away and tough it out by himself. Like always.  
  
His pizza was slowly disappearing as he ate, the greasy meat and tomato soaked crust was really good after sex and after the high of yesterday. Maybe that's why junk food was so popular.

"Sounds reasonable to pack my stuff there," Stiles agreed absently chewing on his current slice. There were four more in the box, but he was already eyeing one of the dessert boxes. He could leave those slices for later in case they end up here again after the training. "I don't think we would need more than the Camaro and my Jeep packed, so just one round of my shit to pack the cars full," he mused. "The rest I can go through and throw out or give away. We can do the moving during those first days. I'll text my landlord about the moving out in advance."  
  
San Francisco was only a few hours away but with their connections, hiring or borrowing a van shouldn't be much of a problem and then Stiles could take it all and sort through it whenever he felt like it. "We'll get a van so you can take your time." Large vans weren't expensive to hire for a day and they could switch driving if they needed to. Stuffing everything in two cars seemed redundant and knowing the human, not nearly enough. Derek could pack everything in one duffel bag, Beth's things would be what would take a lot of room, he had very little himself.  
  
Stiles only nodded to the idea of renting a van. Because yes, once again, it sounded reasonable and knew Derek would do it anyway just to keep things simpler and faster, even if Stiles would start arguing with him about it. So he let him have that. But not what came next.

Derek willingly mentioning the rut was new. Yes, he mentioned before when Stiles was reading through the werewolf book Deaton had lent him, but he kinda shied away from the topic and Stiles let him. But the time was drawing near when it would be a real problem so he knew they had to address it. And what better time than this?  
  
"So... the rut..." Stiles paused, the remaining slice hanging from his mouth as he reached for his soda again then he took it out of his mouth in favor of taking a sip before continuing. "We should really talk about that. I know from you and the book that it lasts for like a week. And the book also detailed how... it affects you..." he mumbled, remembering it mentioning the werewolf's instincts going haywire, the burning need to mate taking over so strongly that it might drive weak-willed wolves crazy if there's no one to help them out. And by help they meant fucking them through the mattress (or any surface, really) repeatedly during that week.

Stiles wondered if Derek wanted him to be there for him and do that. And if yes, he also wondered if he had the stamina and physique to keep up with an in-heat werewolf. Perhaps he should ask Deaton about those balms so he could start making them in preparation. And maybe his magic could help him keep up and perform as needed. Not to mention that they would have to lock themselves away here for a week then and arrange for Beth to be looked after by his dad and the others...  
  
"How do you want to do this? I mean... I'm ready to help you through it because I don't like the idea of you being in pain and suffering," he said nonchalantly with a shrug, but kept his observing eyes on Derek.

Stopping mid-bite, the wolf glanced at his mate. He had started the topic so he shouldn't be surprised Stiles took the opportunity to ask about it. "No." This was exactly why he had avoided talking about it, knowing the younger man would be willing and eager to help out without even knowing what it would mean for him. "For normal couples rut is pleasant, enjoying a few days of non-stop coupling because they start on time and don't wait too long for the one affected to be without control. We're not normal." It sounded harsh, and he didn't mean it like that, only he had no idea how else to say it because it was true, they weren't normal.  
  
"In Hell my rut was forced on me each month, chained to a wall alone to be driven mad with need and since ruts usually happen once or twice a year, each month got worse. I was so delirious I chewed my arm off in an attempt to get free to get to somebody, anybody. I didn't succeed but there's a chance I've started associating violence with my ruts. I'll be so out of it that I won't care what body I sate myself on, or who has mine as long as there's sex."

And there was nothing sexy about a mindless beast rutting away, there was not going to be gentle aftercare or careful preparation. Normally heats were fine, because he had control, in the past. There was not going to be any now. And with the soul being as it was, he wasn't going to have the ability to stop when hurting Stiles. If anything, he feared he might only get more into it, or he'd try to get Stiles to attack him.  
  
"I'll gladly share my future ruts with you, when I know for sure I won't damage you beyond repair."

Stiles was expecting some harsh comments, but for a few moments he couldn't stop feeling a bit hurt from the denial and Derek stating that they were no normal couple. He was right, though, and Stiles knew it well, so he stomped down on the hurt feelings and took a deep breath, _really_ listening to Derek's points instead of letting himself work himself up and get pissed. He had managed to learn enough self-control over the years and in his work to take a step back and analyze a situation instead of barging into it hotheaded and driven by his emotions and instincts. In a way he became a bit more levelheaded when he remembered to remind himself of this technique. And now this topic was too important not to do so.  
  
So he just sat there in silence for a minute or so even after Derek had stopped talking. Then he finally put the half-eaten slice back down and put the box and his drink on the coffee table so he could pull a leg up on the couch as he fully turned his body towards Derek. A sign that he meant it bloody seriously what he was about to say.  
  
"These are all good points and reasons, Derek. I understand that we are never going to be a 'normal couple' per se. We are... obviously too complicated for that for many reasons. I also understand that your biggest fear is hurting me. Which you'd probably feel even if I was a werewolf like you too. I have the same fear too, though I know you are the one with the alpha power and fangs and claws," he smiled faintly at him then his expression turned bloody serious again. "But there's something that fear makes you forget about me. I'm a Spark now. I am magic, which I can use now to help," he said and as he was talking, he let said magic start to shimmer in his irises, the air around them getting charged with it, the faint scent of ozone probably already reaching Derek's sensitive nose.

"I also have other tricks up my sleeve. I can learn how to brew useful potions and put up protective wards... And hold you down if necessary so you wouldn't hurt either of us," he said as he flicked his hand towards Derek with a subtle move, the magic wrapping around the wolf nearly undetected. "Try to move," he said with a tiny lopsided smile. He wanted to demonstrate that he is powerful enough to hold back an alpha, if necessary. Even his mate.  
  
"You are _my mate_. You didn't think that I'd really leave you on your own during your heat? Or let anyone else help on sating that heat? No. It's gonna be me with the appropriate preparations. And I won't shy away from asking Deaton to help in said preparations. I won't let you live through anything as bad as what was forced on you monthly in Hell. I refuse that possibility so get used to the idea that you'll get through your future ruts _with me_..." he said with determination and his tone leaving no room for objection as his magic kept Derek in place.

Derek has been steeling himself against the argument he knew was coming, Stiles wasn't going to simply accept it, which had been reason number two why he hadn't mentioned it yet even though it was coming up soon. Arguing now when they were getting used to their bonds, when they were still in their so called 'honeymoon phase' wouldn't be helpful to the cause of Stiles getting his magic under control. So when the other put his box away, Derek did the same, dropping the half eaten slice on the carton and closing the pizza box while Stiles got all ready to have a serious talk. The wolf had already been half-turned towards the human, back resting in the corner of the couch, one knee on the seat with his foot half-tugged under his other knee.  
  
They had been terrible in the past when they disagreed, it could get heated and ugly. Stiles was really good at throwing out jabs meant to hurt so when he started by saying they were all good reasons, his eyebrows shot up. Could it really be that easy now that they were a few years older? Nope. Stiles continued with reasons of his own to counter it while powering up his magic, the static in the air changing. Hold him down? Of course he had noticed the magic had grown, the strength in it was amazing but that didn't mean there was enough control to be able to deal with a near feral alpha. His eyebrows climbed even higher.  
  
"Look, it's fine, you don't have to..." _Oh_. The initial need to scoff cooled down to surprise when he realized it felt like he was in a case of mountain ash. He fought for a moment, trying to loosen muscles and have limbs move but nothing budged. It was impressive because it wasn't that he considered Stiles weak, but it was all new to them and now didn't compare to having to deal with a mate too far gone in heat to make much sense. Stiles wasn't going to have such a clear mind then. Mid-fight against invisible bonds, he narrowed his eyes, head whipping up. "I wasn't going to involve anybody else in my rut, I was going to chain myself up." It wasn't like he wasn't used to that, so it would be fine. However, he had a feeling that Stiles was going to find him even when he'd say no.  
  
"When I feel the heat of my rut, you'll feel it too. You're clear of mind now, wired from the sex and magic, but it'll be different then." Derek was going to fight him tooth and nail, without holding back when in rut. "So if Deaton thinks you can't do it, then all I'll allow you to do is for you to make sure to get me out of the chains I will have put myself in." One more rut filled with suffering wasn't going to make him crack. "If he says you can do it..." Well, then they were going to battle it out in bed no doubt.

The surprise on Derek's face was kind of pleasing for Stiles, to be honest. What he said next... well, it made sense too, but it also pissed him off a bit as he released Derek and pulled the magic back. He _knew_ he can do it, even in that chaotic situation. If something, such situations have taught Stiles a long time ago that despite the panic he often felt in the past, he always showed remarkable wit and strength to solve those problems, to survive or to save others. He doubted it would be much different during Derek's heat.  
  
Smacking his lips together a bit displeased from Derek's 'ultimatum,' he reached for his dessert, opening the container and picking up a plastic fork to cut a bite off the slice of cake. The idea of Derek chaining himself up made his non-existent hackles bristle up with indignation.  
  
"For one, if there's gonna be a reason for you to be chained up under my watch, it's gonna be done by me and for pleasure. And you bet you won't involve anyone else. You're mine," he said on a firmer than usual voice. He felt... different. More... confident and in control of himself and his magic. His mind was oddly clear and the magic felt more... solid and yielding to his will easier. It was more... obedient and focused. The slight constant tingling of the tattoo on his back (which's purpose was exactly to focus his magic) proved him right. He had noticed that sensation after their shared shower and it stayed with him ever since. Did he just... step to a higher level of magic and consciousness now that he had another goal, another purpose in front of him?  
  
He took a moment to push the cake into his mouth, letting the sweet taste explode on his tongue as he chewed then swallowed, eyes fixed on the dessert in his hand. "Second... you should remember that the base of a Spark's power is belief in said powers and that they can work. And I have a firm belief that I'll be able to handle you... us in heat. Give me a little more credit, Derek. It was just a small amount I used on you right now. There's more from where that came from. But fine, put your trust in Deaton then," he murmured, nearly annoyed by the fact that his mate didn't believe he was capable of doing it. It stung a bit, but he guessed there are going to be other times too when he'll have to prove himself. Even if Derek should know or at least remember from the emissary book how powerful (and dangerous) a mated Spark can be.

It was no coincidence that there was a completely separate book on legends connected to such emissaries. They were also good cautionary tales for Stiles about keeping his powers under control because completely losing it and letting the magic consume him would have dire consequences both for him and everyone around him – including his mate. That's why he was taking his magic and the training very seriously.

The way he was released and the magic was pulled back told Derek just how angry Stiles was long before he even opened his mouth. Over the years they had gotten to know one another and a few years apart wasn't going to change that. Just as Stiles is good at reading Derek, the other way around is as applicable. The human was pointedly putting his focus on his dessert, not even looking at the older man, as if the lava cake needed such intense devotion to eat it. At the first hacked off bit, the melted chocolate spilled out, its scent trickling at Derek’s nose.  
  
But it totally didn't get his intention, not even for a second, instead he was watching his mate, that surge of confidence incredibly sexy, as was the possessiveness displayed. It should make him at least annoyed that Stiles was basically forbidding him to ever think of using chains on himself, even when it was the safest way to handle an unpleasant situation. The first thing out of his mouth should be a protest at being told what to do but instead he said nothing, still caught on the way Stiles claimed him boldly like that. Caught on watching that sinfully clever mouth handle the chocolate cake, a sliver of the sauce caught on the bottom lip and he didn't lick it away. It was driving him _nuts_.  
  
Stiles didn't lick it away, still didn't look at him either while he calmly laid it all out, ending it with that easy jab which did exactly what it was supposed to do, made him feel guilty. Feeling chastised, with good reason but yet thinking he had good points as well, the wolf crossed his arms, taking a deep breath to firmly go against it because it was dangerous and Stiles was underestimating it. Those last words though... they were stuck with him and he closed his mouth again, arms falling to rest on the arm of the couch.  
  
He didn't trust Deaton above Stiles, but he knew the older emissary wouldn't put Derek's needs above Stiles’, because a druid was way more important to the balance than a wolf. He would be honest and make sure the human wasn't going to overtax himself and that wasn't something he could see Stiles do. The other would put both of them at the top, Derek probably higher than himself.

"I will not be able to think, to be in control. You will completely be in charge of everything for the whole week. Of me and you. I trust you with that responsibility, but I know what it will do to you if it goes sideways. When you held me up in that pool, you'd drown before letting me go. I need you to put your safety above mine in this because I won't be able to."

To Derek's quiet and serious words Stiles finally paused, lowering his hands onto his lap as he swallowed his bite and finally looked at Derek – oblivious to the chocolate smear on his bottom lip. He took a deep breath and on the exhale it turned into a long sigh. The amber eyes didn't look away from the green ones and looked back just as seriously. His voice was just as quiet and even as Derek's previously as he began talking again.  
  
"I appreciate that trust more than you might think," Stiles nodded, tilting his head to the side as if listening to something, but it was more like thinking about something in his case. Namely, thinking Derek's words through. "I can imagine how dangerous that situation can be for both of us. I'm not underestimating it, Derek. But I do feel confident that I can do this for the both of us, because I..." he cut himself off with another sigh and a slight shake of his head. No, he wasn't going to say it for the first time in this situation. "I can't bear the thought of my mate suffering like that. You give me power and control in more ways than just helping me balance the magic. And true, I'd rather have drowned in that pool than letting you keep thinking that you cannot trust me," he nodded, remembering way too clearly their conversation while Kanima Jackson was lurking around.

"You're right, though. You'll be basically a feral alpha purely driven by instincts. Thus dangerous to me. I get that. And if I have to, I'll swear on my mother's memory that I'll defend myself against you if it comes to that," he said. Not saying 'if Deaton deems him fit' or anything like that because he was positive that the druid will feel just how deep his determination and belief runs in this.  
  
Stiles was far from the panicking clumsy blabbermouth teen who had no idea what he was getting himself into when he discovered that Scott was turned into a werewolf and the whole new supernatural world dragged them in. He could've stayed away right now too, sit this one out. But he didn't do that back then with Scott, and he as sure as hell wasn't gonna do that when it was about his mate’s well-being, needs and sanity.  
  
"Through thick and thin..." he mumbled.

"It'll come to that." There was no if, a feral alpha driven by instincts confronted with a mate having power, it would be natural to battle him for dominance. Derek would smell the fact the other was pack so he wouldn't die but it was going to be bloody, violent and rough. All the things the wolf had learned to control, all the things he stopped being if he had a say in it. The only reason why he was even agreeing to this was because he knew Stiles would find a way, the confidence he had in his own abilities didn't appease his own worries. The human was going to end up hurt so the fact he would swear on his mother to defend himself was in fact needed, he needed to know this was not going to be Stiles lying there and taking it, for Derek to get a clear head and discover his mate a beaten up pulp. That couldn't happen.  
  
Derek loved the way they were, how they switched dominance effortlessly and to see Stiles grow into his own confidence to take control over him. It was different for a werewolf when reduced to the basics.

"If you smile and bare your teeth at me, I will see it as a threat. Your words won't mean much to me so you can't talk me into calming." Which hadn't been Stiles' strength to begin with, his mouth usually got him into trouble. Just as Derek's did, only he didn't talk enough while the human talked too much. It was simple though, Derek healed and Stiles didn't. So he better use his magic to defend himself, repeatedly, the wolf wasn't going to remember much of it anyways so it didn't matter.  
  
What he hated most about it was the fact that all of his precious control went right out the window. All he had worked so hard for had been taken from him with torture so he had to rebuild again. All these years of fighting the hunters' ideas of werewolves being monstrous beasts and he was reduced to exactly that. Ruts weren't supposed to be something to dread and yet he feared the entire week. Stiles was going to see him like that, it could change things forever between them. "I only bring you trouble and drama," he muttered in return.

Stiles listened intently, drinking in every morsel of information in preparation. Because he was going to do this, no matter what Deaton says. He can ward the loft off so an in-rut feral alpha wouldn't be able to roam free. He was good enough with mountain ash and holding Derek down too in case he needed a breather. He was steeling himself for this challenge already.  
  
"Hey..." his eyes softened to Derek's last sentence and after putting the cake and fork down, he scooted over to him on the couch to take his hand in his. "That's SO not true. There's some trouble and drama, yes, but you bring me so, so much more! You are family. My mate, my home..." he said, voice failing him for a moment. _My love._ Even if he didn't say it out loud yet, he knew Derek would probably feel it thanks to their mate bond.  
  
"So cut that crap very fast, Derek. I'll do this for both of us. To prove you that I want ALL of you. Even when you're driven by pure instinct. Let me help, okay?" he leaned a bit closer, not letting Derek break the eye-contact. "Thank you for your pointers. I'll keep them in mind and now..." he lightly squeezed the wolf's hand in his, feeling through their bond how difficult it was for him to talk about these things. But they had to so Stiles could be prepared. "Now I'm gonna ask you quite a few questions – many very personal and intimate, I know – and probably later too when they pop up in my mind. I want to know about preferably everything and anything that might happen during that week. It's important for me to know for both our safety. So please, answer all truthfully. No sugarcoating, okay?" he asked deadly serious.  
  
He waited until he got a barely there nod then took a deep breath.  
  
"Alright... So during your rut what should I expect? Human form, beta shift, full on wolf shift or all three? Do you sleep or eat? Are there clear moments for you at least towards the end? Should I be prepared for attempts at knotting? How dangerous can that be when you are in such a state? I mean... I know you're very careful and in control when we do it in general so you wouldn't hurt us. Should I try to avoid letting you knot me in that state or is it okay to let you close to me like that? Perhaps towards the end?" Stiles paused. He was positive that he could fight off and keep Derek from trying to do that to him. Especially if he can turn things around and distract him with for example, fucking him instead. "Or can I milk your knot without penetration too? I'm asking these because I don't know everything about wolf anatomy yet," he chuckled a bit nervously and apologetically, a faint blush tainting his cheeks, but he didn't look away. "Also... is there a chance that you might want to scratch or bite me for real?" Of course he meant the deep enough scratches or bites that could turn someone into a werewolf. And this was the bigger problem.

Derek had difficulty believing a word Stiles had said about him giving him more than trouble. Stiles had given up his home, his job, his entire new life to be with the Hale. And he got out of control magic, a mate with half a tortured soul who was about to go into rut in a not good way, and if one of them died, they both would die. How was any of that fair? How could he want all of Derek when he got so little in return? How could he love him? But he didn't want to talk about it, not more. He wanted to cut the crap and move on so he didn't have to say more. Stiles wasn't going to take no for an answer anyways.  
  
Instead his pale green eyes were on the hand clasping his own, a feint blush on his cheeks from the _very_ intimate questions. As blunt as he was to others, he wasn't used to having somebody ask him about sex like that. And he knew it was ridiculous to blush about it, it was normal to have sex, it was okay to be asking about it and this was Stiles, he always wanted to be prepared. That didn't mean Derek had been prepared for... all of _that_.  
  
"No full wolf shift, I can't concentrate enough for it. I think. Don't remember much of my ruts. Beta shift for sure." He had never had sex in beta shift before, too dangerous, too much of everything, too inhuman for his previous bed partners to have an interest in. But since there was such a lack of control, he knew he'd probably be more in beta shift than humanoid. "Knotting is unavoidable. It'll happen each time, most likely." The last part was muttered but again, without any kind of control, the things he was normally so careful with were going to be there. Full blown and over the top. "I won't understand you not letting me knot you. I won't be careful so you have to make sure you've prepared yourself or I'll rip you wide open." Stiles didn't want sugarcoating, he thought he could handle this so the wolf made sure he knew what it would mean for him.  
  
"I don't know about... what works. I haven't..." There was a deep sigh. "I don't know fully how the knot works, but you can fuck me as well, probably will want that too." It would be a moment of respite, not that the other was going to get many of those. "It'll be a pause for you. I won't sleep much unless I pass out, I will forget to eat or drink. Which is better that way, more chances of me passing out to give you some time as well so don't make me eat or drink. I won't have control, Stiles, so biting and scratching is possible. Why do you think I've asked you to defend yourself? I will know you're mate, pack. But I won't know your name, I won't know mine."

The emissary listened carefully again, storing away the new information Derek was sharing with him with the cutest blush on his cheeks. Though once or twice Stiles' eyes widened a bit as the wolf spread out all the cards on the table – bluntly, like he asked. But Stiles still wasn't really scared. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing, a sign of blind trust in Derek and his own abilities, or if it meant that he wasn't completely sane and had a death wish. Some might say it was the latter, but Stiles never really cared about others' opinion when it came to his decisions. He acted according to what his moral compass and instincts dictated.  
  
He stayed silent for a whole minute once Derek stopped talking, thinking through everything he had shared about this part of himself while chewing on his own bottom lip, tasting chocolate. He didn't pull back or looked horrified. He probably should have, but his self-preservation instincts didn't kick in at all. Instead he kept drawing grounding little circles onto Derek's hand with his thumb, his heartbeat a bit faster and skipping once or twice, but otherwise he appeared calmer and more collected than he thought he would be. Because it wasn't going to be easy. It was going to be dangerous, just like Derek said. And Stiles wasn't sure what it told about him that nonetheless he was ready to dive head first into that rut with Derek. Maybe he _was_ a masochist in the end.  
  
His eyes were rapidly moving as they were dropped somewhere around the level of Derek's chest. A sign that his mind was running a mile a minute. Ideas and plans were being born, some thrown out right away, others sticking in the back of his mind for later to elaborate on.  
  
"Okay... okay," he finally murmured and looked up at Derek. "So let's sum it up so far," he said more to himself. "No full on wolf sex... which is cool, because I think I'm not ready for that _yet_ ," he emphasized the last word and paused for a moment to let that sink in for Derek. "Beta form it is then... Huh... and I have a feeling the butt plug collection I've got for us will come in handy in keeping myself ready," he chuckled, a hint of nervousness in his voice as his long fingers began playing with Derek's. It was both to do something with his always restless hands and also to ground himself somewhat too. Frankly, the odds of surviving the rut as a human in one piece sounded... shaky at best, but he wasn't going to back out of it.  
  
"Lots of lube will be required too, so that means a trip to the sex shop for a few shiny extra large bottles," he continued with a giggle then hummed again, his other hand reaching up to rub his chin, fingertips soon nervously tapping along his jawline over and over. "I guess I'll have to see what works with the knot when we'll get there. Also, fucking you won't be a problem in beta form either. I think you are... hot like that too. I know, I know, I'm so very weird. Deal with it," he shrugged before Derek could say anything. "We should probably try to have sex in your beta form before your rut too, though. So I can get used to you like that," he looked straight into Derek's eyes, suspecting that he probably wouldn't be overjoyed by that – in Stiles' opinion – very reasonable suggestion.  
  
"What concerns me the most from all of this is the alpha biting and scratches. I'm not sure those would work on me as a druid and Spark. I remember the books very briefly mentioning that there's a possibility that a bite wouldn't take if the emissary is powerful enough, but I'm not sure. We'll have to ask Deaton about it. He might even know a way to test it on us somehow?" he half-asked, half-suggested, not sure if maybe Derek knew more about this or not.

"This is insane."  
  
It was. Stiles was acting like it was all fine, like they could plot and prepare for it and no big deal. But it was a big deal and Derek found himself unable to listen to this for much longer. It left him with a bad taste in his mouth, the unpleasant roll of fear in his stomach. None of this was okay. He pulled his hand away so he could get up and pace, arms crossed in front of his chest in his classic pose of warding others off.  
  
Stiles wasn't supposed to be okay with him in beta form having sex, especially not in wolf form. Nobody had been okay with that ever before so this? This couldn't be real, it was impossible that his mate was this welcoming of him. Of him as werewolf. Talking about handling the rut even when knowing he was going to be in immense pain, he was going to possibly get turned, injured… And this acceptance... it was so far from what Derek had expected, what he had known, that he couldn't deal with any of this.  
  
"Can you even hear yourself?! A week of knotting, of claws and fangs and me as... You've given up your job, your life for me, you're stuck with a mate with half a soul feeding off you like a leech so I can have a semblance of emotions even though we both know most of them are yours. And now you're going to let me fuck you into the hospital. I'm not..." He wasn't okay with this, any of it. The wrongness of it all, the idea of them doing this.  
  
"I can't do it." To wake up to a carnage, to know he had done that to the one person whom he loves.

The pang of pain from hearing that Derek was possibly living through Stiles' emotions and not his own was... crippling for a long moment. But Stiles stomped down on it. Refused the possibility that Derek might not have the same feelings for him because of a literally broken soul. Stiles _knew_ that couldn't be the case. The looks he gave or the way the other man touched him weren't Stiles' feelings. This only strengthened his resolve to find a solution to the soul problem that much faster because they couldn't stay like this in the bonds forever. Not when there was the danger of Derek losing the little feelings he still had as his own too.  
  
Stiles made his mind slow down, realizing that being steps ahead and voicing mostly everything that went through his head clearly overwhelmed Derek, who didn't seem to be able to get over the problem itself at hand while Stiles was already trying to work solving it.  
  
"Derek! Derek, _breathe_!" he raised his voice enough to catch the panicking alpha's attention and make him listen to him. Sadly, he knew the signs of panic intimately and noticed them on his pair while watching him pacing as if he was actually a caged wolf. But this cage was the worst kind – the invisible one, created by the mind and strengthened by fear and insecurities. It was always harder to break free from those kinds of restraints.  
  
Standing up too, Stiles slowly walked over to his man and placed his slender hands on the muscular upper-arms while they were still folded. His voice softened as he focused on keeping his own breathing steady.

“Look at me, Derek. Please. I know this isn't easy for you. It isn't easy for me either. But what good would it do if I freaked out along with you? It's something we have to solve. Together. I _think_ I know how difficult it might be for you to accept the way I am with you. The way I think about you. How I act around you. Everything I did to be with you was _my_ choice because I want the real _you_. I wanted all of you for _years_. And believe me... it took me quite a while too to accept that. But for _me_ it is worth it. _You are worth it for me._ So try to get that through your thick Hale skull, okay?" he smiled softly at Derek, lightly squeezing his arms.  
  
"I'm kinda scared too, okay? But I try not to focus on that. We'll find a way. We always do, Derek. We always do..."

The pale hands were a sharp contrast to his own tanned skin, long thin fingers, tendons straining under the skin because of the hands always being in constant motion. Not once had he thought of Stiles as weak, not even when he had called him skinny and defenseless in front of the twin. Stiles would have been the first to rush into danger with his bat in his hands. Stiles had been the one running around saving others without once remembering that he was human and the most mortal. Stiles had always made the plans for them all, he was good at that, still was. But he had always had that habit of waltzing right over others while his brain was so busy with said plan and that hadn't changed either.  
  
Stiles wasn't scared enough. While Derek was petrified, horrified even. Because _this_? This wasn't him and he was barely holding on as it was, clinging to the fact that he had a mate and a daughter to keep safe so he kept on going. "You think that the mindless feral alpha you'll be bedding is the real me? It's not, Stiles. And you're not scared enough and that _terrifies_ me. You're talking about fucking in beta form, lube and plugs like it's no big deal." Like who he was now was no big deal but it should be. There was no way he was proud of being without so much control in his rut, it was only another reminder of how much he had failed.  
  
Having half a soul, watching Beth have nightmares about the bad man, the way she would be afraid of spookies, the fact that she had been born less than a year ago and yet was closer to a three year old than a baby... All his fault. All reminders. Just as this was. And Stiles was fine with Derek using his magic to not be as broken, fine with having to spread his legs to have sex with a mindless werewolf because of a rut. A rut that normally wouldn't be like that but the tortured part of Derek couldn't get over what happened yet.  
  
"I want to share ruts with you, I want to share everything with you but not like this. We'll have to find other ways."

"I _know_ that it's not the real you. I know enough that ruts are supposed to be different for you. But I also know that this is a part of you now too, even if it's a result of what was forced on you. But you're not the only one who cannot bear the thought of his mate suffering or getting hurt," Stiles sighed, his hands slowly falling away from Derek's warm skin to hug himself, an attempt to hide away and stop the slight tremors of his fingers.  
  
"I know this is a big deal. Contrary to the general belief about me, _I’m not stupid_ ," he tapped his socked foot against the cold floor nervously. "But I cannot talk about it in any other way without freaking out myself. And believe me, I could freak out big time if I allowed myself, but I chose not to. Because I want to help you heal, you moron," he murmured, no real heat in his words at the end.  
  
"I have plans to keep us both safe." He decided to share some of those plans with Derek because clearly he needed to hear some to calm down a bit. Or so Stiles hoped. "I can ward off the whole loft with mountain ash and my magic. I can do the same with individual rooms too where I can retreat from you when I need a breather or some sleep. I can hold you down with my power because I refuse to chain you up. I can make healing and sedative brews, make balms for myself to help my body heal and regenerate faster. I can learn to use spells to do the same. I can even work out a way to give you water and food so you wouldn't have to faint into unconsciousness to knock yourself out. I can come up with a way to keep you from shredding my skin with your fangs and teeth. Because _I have to_ help you, Derek. Or you think our bonds wouldn't tug on me? Draw me in? What do you think, how long would I be able to resist that pull without going mad? Because you can be sure as hell that I wouldn't let them break!" he pressed the heels of his shaking hands into his eyes from frustration before he let them drop and took a deep steadying breath, exhaling slowly to center himself and his suddenly bubbling up magic which HATED that idea so much that it felt like burning Stiles from the inside out. He needed a moment to push it back down and make the slight amber-colored sparks disappear from around his fists.  
  
"You said your ruts weren't like this in the past. Then let me help you start leading you back to how it used to be. As much as possible. Even if it helps only a tiny bit..." he looked back at Derek with pleading eyes. "And wouldn't that be easier if we did it with trying to prepare as much as possible?"

The trembling hands hadn't gone unnoticed, nor the way Stiles had to physically take distance from Derek as the frustration was bleeding into the bond. This at least was more familiar to him, arguments because of things he had said, others feeling the need to act out on their frustration because of him. He lacked the way with words, he lacked a way to explain it right so it usually ended up being a big mess where he got lost in all the chemo signals and words and those not matching up so he'd leave. Or he'd push and push until either the other would leave or lash out.  
  
They were close to that now. The difference was that the Hale had stopped running and he knew when to reign himself in, forced himself to listen to the words instead of acting on the other signals he was receiving and all the old hurt dredging up a past which didn't necessarily had to do with this moment. And yet it had everything to do with it. Others had pushed their way into having him, some had left when they were denied and he was now caught in between that, his feeling of it being wrong, of not wanting it and the fear of rejection.  
  
The words, they made sense, they sounded like something that might work. And if the situation had been reversed, if it had been Stiles about to go into a week of torment and pain simply because of stupid ancient mating habits firmly stored into his DNA, wouldn't Derek have badgered into making sure Stiles wasn't alone? The idea of his mate suffering by himself like that made his heart clench, just as watching him being so frustrated and close to a panic attack made him feel guilty. The human wanted to help, sounded like he had it all under control plan-wise while the wolf was only pushing at his control nearly enough to make the magic run free.  
  
"Yeah... okay." He could do it, for Stiles. Maybe his feelings of it being wrong were unfounded, since Stiles was right, he was going to feel the rut tugging at him as well. And having to heal from wounds would be better than being insane for the rest of his life. It wasn't like Derek was going to remember anything, and once he was in heat, there was no way to stop himself when there was a willing mate. Sex had been so good between them though, and it was going to be different after that. "We'll do it your way." And they were going to face the consequences after that. As long as this... this discord between them stopped.

Stiles could feel Derek's struggle overlapping his own but in the end he managed to rein in the "upset" magic until it became a "pouting" shimmering in the back of his mind. He forced himself to take a few deep breaths and he stared at the wolf in surprise and with an expression that said "are you serious?" because it was just... too... easy, perhaps, for Derek to give in? Or maybe he saw reason. Or got too tired of fighting his point of view. Stiles couldn't be sure and for a moment couldn't even read Derek and why he finally gave in. But he wasn't going to refuse that acceptance.  
  
Still... he didn't feel satisfied or anything like "winning" this round at all.  
  
Either way, he sighed a tiny bit more relaxed, the trembling from his hands slowly bleeding out of him as he stepped back to his mate and forced his arms to unfold so he could wrap his own around him tightly in silence. And that silence told more than just a mere "thank you" for accepting Stiles' way. He knew how huge this was and he buried his face into Derek's neck, hands curling into fists around his shirt, holding on tight.

The wrongness felt a little bit better when his agreement to it made Stiles so much more at ease, the scent of a panic attack disappeared even though he was clearly confused. At least he didn't push about the reason why Derek had agreed this quickly because it wasn't something Derek wanted to talk about. He had said yes and that was all that really mattered. So he didn't resist the hug, he wrapped his arms around his mate and returned the gesture to soothe the lingering 'upset' magic. Deaton had said they had to be careful with one another, and he didn't want Stiles to get sick again.  
  
Stiles could breathe a bit easier after they mostly hugged it out, so to say. For now they seemed to have come to an agreement. Though he felt that Derek maybe gave in to stop further problems between them. But Stiles was content with that for now, because otherwise he would've fallen apart himself and that wouldn't help either of them.  
  
Derek shoved the desserts to Stiles once they had relocated to the bed after the tour of the loft. Stiles hadn't been upstairs a lot, nor had he seen the potential bedroom in the room next to the bathroom. One of the rooms upstairs had been Isaacs, but his scent had long ago faded, the only reminder was the single bed. It would make a good room for Beth. The other room was filled with Derek's books because he had lacked a bookcase for them, and over the years he had started to collect quite a few on top of the ones which had been at the Hale house before it got torn down.  
  
One of them was in Derek's hands while Stiles was reading the book from Deaton, but Derek wasn't paying it much attention, mostly dozing with intervals as time ticked away. Until it was time to go again, off for more training.

The tour of the building was a welcomed distraction and the young emissary let his imagination go wild, sharing all kinds of ideas from reasonable ones to farfetched with Derek. He needed to babble, to let his mind run wild as a way to relieve some of the tension and stress that's been building up in him not just because of what they just argued about, but about his moving and magic and new life and roles as well.  
  
It took some additional effort for him to be able to focus on what he was later reading on the bed, cocooned into the warm blanket like a burrito while Derek pretended to read something next to him too. There was a barely there tension in the air and he hated it, but tried to accept it because he knew the peace was shaky between them at best.  
  
Going to Deaton's was yet another welcomed distraction.


	4. 7: Into the Darkness - Part 4

**7: Into the Night – part 4**

"So Doc, I don't know what you were planning on for tonight, but we have a more pressing matter. How much do you know about mixed pairs and ruts and preparing for those to keep the mortal side safe?" Stiles cut right to the chase, too tired mentally and emotionally to sugarcoat it for the vet or caring how Derek would react.

_Jesus._

Stiles didn't even lead that with an introduction, nope, he went for it bluntly the moment they stepped into the building. It caused Deaton to blink, once, as he slid his gaze over to Derek as if to attempt to read how pressing the matter was. The alpha simply gave him a look back because he wasn't some newly bitten bumbling idiot, he knew of his ruts beforehand, they were regular, once a year on the dot. The vet sighed, though it could be for having to deal with this or for the complication that came with the question.  
  
"Normally I'd suggest drugging the wolf to skip it to next year so the bonds have more time to settle. But in Derek's case, with his history of recent torture, I don't think it would be safe for his body to put it through the strain again."  
  
Which was something Derek had known. He had come to Deaton after returning from Hell to stop the monthly-induced ruts since it was wrecking his body and mind. "There are some herbs I can get my hands on to take some of the heat out of it but he's an alpha, and you're human. Now, there is a way for me to know if you are immune to the bite. If you're not... then perhaps we should consider putting Derek to sleep for the week. It would be the safest," Deaton continued as he already started gathering the things he was going to need to perform the test on Stiles.  
  
It wouldn't be ideal, Derek knew, to let the druid keep him under for an entire week but if it was the safest way, then maybe that would be for the best. If he could turn Stiles because the human had never wanted that and shouldn't have to.

Stiles didn't take his eyes off Deaton for a second as he leaned on his slender hands against the examination table. He _thirsted_ this knowledge so he could build upon it for both his and Derek's sake. He ignored the wolf's well-hidden shock (well, not from him, thank you very much for the bonds). Instead he hummed and watched Deaton moving around and when he put two sterile syringes on the examination table, Stiles felt himself get a bit uncomfortable and he quickly averted his eyes to focus on the vet.  
  
"So just as I suspected, there are herbs to help on containing the rut somewhat. I assume there are brews and balms I could use aside from my magic to keep it... as safe as possible," Stiles mused, deliberately not looking at the things Deaton put down next to the syringes. Because... yeah. Stiles and needles were still not best friends, even if he's gotten better with them thanks to the tattoos. But those were... different. "So, talk to us, Doc, don't leave us in suspense! How does this test work? What will happen? Because keeping Derek under for a week is the last resort in my book. So you better have a good method to test us..."  
  
Deaton's reaction was a barely there smile – nearly condescending – as he stilled his hands on the edge of the examination table. "This method is old and nearly completely forgotten. But I have my sources too. I'll need to draw some of your blood first."  
  
"Goddammit! I knew it!" Stiles sighed dramatically. "Why isn't it ever flowers and kittens? Not one time! So fucking unfair," he babbled, which was, of course ignored by the druid as he opened a bottle of disinfectant and saturated a peace of cotton with it, reaching out his other hand for Stiles to offer his arm.  
  
"You are like a stone statue without the ability to feel sorry for your victims..." Stiles said, over-dramatized, of course, but bared his rune-marked arm.  
  
The vet didn't say anything just focused on the task at hand and after disinfecting the crook of Stiles' elbow, he quickly drew some blood, once again ignoring the pitiful babbling about "leech" and "torture" and "I didn't sign up for this" kind of comments. He watched Stiles drop on one of the stools, keeping pressure on his "mortal wound". Unsurprisingly, taking blood from Derek went without a fuss.  
  
The dramatics about blood taking was amusing, especially since Stiles had a couple of tattoos of his own and he had even _carved_ the runes into their arms. Which had involved blood too. But apparently the combination of needles and blood still made him squeamish, something he tried to hide with the insistent babbling but they all knew better. Deaton didn't even bat his eyelashes twice at all the fussing and grumbling, calmly took what he needed from the human before he moved on to the wolf who of course didn't even flinch once. Or complained about it. He had been impaled by pipes and claws and knifes and whatever else, a little tiny needle drawing some of his blood wasn't something that made him react.  
  
It seemed pretty pointless to him to do a test that wasn't foul proof, it wasn't making him feel confident in the rut, it wasn't easing the fear away. And even if Stiles was immune, the bite could kill him if his body rejected it. It happened, not all the time but it did happen, especially with older people, that’s why teens were the easiest to turn.  
  
"What'll you do next?" Stiles asked, his curiosity winning over his rolling stomach and dizziness.  
  
"It's simple. I'll mix some of your blood together and use some magic to activate the spell that would show us with... not full certainty... the results," he explained calmly while picking up the petri dish from the table to put some of their blood into it. The words the druid used made Stiles' skin hum with anticipation while the vet took the dish to his microscope.  
  
And then they waited. It was kind of the moment of truth, no matter if the result wasn't going to be 100% sure.

Deaton stared into the microscope, hummed and turned his attention to the Hale since they had to wait a moment for the result to show up. "Is this something you want, Derek? To spend your rut with Stiles?"

The alpha ducked his head at the question and nodded, he had agreed, hadn't he? That should be enough.  
  
"I see," was all Alan said, as if suspecting there was something going on with that but considering that it might be the better way for the couple to get through it, he wasn't fully against it. The vet returned to his microscope and didn't say anything for the longest of times.  
  
Stiles was chewing on his bottom lip and once he tossed the used cotton ball into the trash, he folded his arms in front of his chest, his fingers drumming out a nervous rhythm on his arms while they were waiting. Those were some nerve-wracking few minutes. He even half-expected Deaton to say something else about wanting to be with Derek during his rut, but for once, he surprised the young emissary with not coming up with some cryptic advice. It was unnerving in itself too, because Stiles figured it showed that the vet knew how important and dangerous this situation was.  
  
"Looks like there's a high chance of immunity. Not that all druids are like that. We can certainly make herbal remedies to ease the process of the werewolf rut, as well as wolfsbane powder to aid young Hale's resting periods since most alphas barely sleep at all in that week. With all the magic training, the soul loss and the fact you've only just healed, sleep is pertinent for you, Derek. As well as your mate."

Still, Stiles felt pleased by the result and he glimpsed at Derek with a small smile, but his mate wasn't looking at either of them. He sighed and ran a hand through his messy hair. He knew Derek was never going to be fully okay with this, but Stiles was a stubborn man too and this time he wasn't going to give in. He had told his reasons and thoughts on the matter to the wolf. He wasn't going to change his mind. Either way... Derek's acceptance was a forced one and Stiles hated himself a bit for that. But he knew otherwise he wouldn't be able to help (and probably stay sane). So there was that.  
  
The petri dish was dropped into the trash and the vet leaned against the side cabinet. "Considering how young you are, besides the forced ruts, I take it you haven't had that many?"  
  
"No, they started late and I've been an omega for most of my years after. Last January wasn't a good one so..."  
  
"Your control is not working," Deaton concluded and Derek nodded to that again. "It will be wise to get back to your control exercises in a few months. You were late in controlling yourself around full moons. You're going to need the time to be ready for your next rut."  
  
That was something Derek had figured out himself too but he still gave a grunt of acknowledgement at that. He wanted his ruts to be something to look forward to, not this week of horror.

The good news was that – just like Stiles suspected – Deaton had a few tricks up his sleeve. That energized the young man again, eyes sparkling up with the need to do something instead of just standing there listening to the conversation going on between the other two.  
  
"So... until those exercises Derek should get back to... you could maybe start teaching me how to make those herbal remedies and balms?" he asked Deaton with a raised brow and expectant look, arms unfolding and long fingers tapping along the edge of the table. His whole being was buzzing with restless energy, but his magic didn't manifest yet, only slightly charged the air of the room.  
  
The vet finally looked away from Derek and nodded. Without a word, he went to the cabinet with the books and started picking out a few along with vials, dried herbs, strange liquids and a mortar. He made a few rounds until everything was on the table.  
  
"It was high time for your herbal training anyways," Deaton smiled faintly and handed over the opened book to Stiles to check the recipes and the beautifully drawn colorful illustrations of plants. "We'll start with that balm with the regenerative properties since that's an easier one. Then once you're more eased into it, we'll start brewing the cocktail that would ease the rut somewhat," he announced. "It'll take a while," he glimpsed at Derek, nodding towards a chair, maybe half-expecting Derek to simply leave, but no one could tell that from his neutral expression.

Honestly, Derek mostly came with in case he was needed because he knew the training was for Stiles' benefit first, which of course would be better for him as well. So when he realized that the evening was going to be about making herbal remedies and he was appointed a chair, he eventually settled onto it. _Probably should have brought a book_ , he thought to himself as he watched the two druids bow over what they needed to make, the scent of herbs heavy in the air soon enough.  
  
It wasn't that he needed to read, he was good at staring off in the distance, keeping half an eye on his surroundings while letting his mind wander. It was one of the things that made him so good at quietly watching people, or creepily stalking them as the teens had always said. The Hale could be quiet for hours like that. The trick was to either recall a book he had read, focusing on the story and its details, or write a story of his own or he'd draw in his head, plans for the building for example. He could have left, of course he could have but they were in this together and just because he wasn't needed tonight, didn't mean he'd just up and leave. Beth was in bed by now or he might have suggested spending some time with his daughter.  
  
Instead while sitting, he leaned against the wall with his back, crossed his arms and watched, so quiet that he might as well become part of the wall. It wasn't that he hadn't tried to be the kind of guy to blend into his surroundings to be that forgotten person but he wasn't the type people would glance over and not see. They always saw him, either as the creepy leather wearing guy or as the hot guy. But they did see him.  
  
The rune on his arm itched, which he had a feeling was his fault because of the tension between the two of them. He was trying though, to move on, to focus on what they needed to do instead of not wanting it. He had said yes and that's what he was going to go with. Unfortunately it didn't seem to work as well as he thought it would.


End file.
